While we’re not ones to hand out free tips to species traitors like the Animal Liberation Front, we can’t gloat without doing so.
So, if your plan is to intimidate an animal researcher, the last thing you want to do is mail him razor blades and claim they’re infected with AIDS.
1. He conducts medical research on animals. Which means he can easily test whether the razors actually carry the HIV virus by using it on the monkeys.
2. The medical research is for addictive drugs. You might as well mail him pocket mirrors and rolled up dollar bills for the cocaine wing, which is filled with a hundred monkeys at a hundred typewriters who have already developed scripts for 12 Two and a Half Men clones.