Tag: new delhi

Maybe our countries aren’t so different

For years, people have labeled cops into two categories: The ones in shape, and the ones that are horribly out of shape, and when we mean out of shape, brother, these men create their own shapes. Okay, so, maybe people have labeled cops in more than just those two categories, but for the purpose of this post, let’s just go with the above.

BUT, we may have now found our new across the globe brother in arms: New Delhi. Five policemen recently died on the job. The cause of death? Heart attacks in all, apparently happening while the guys were taking part in a physical fitness test required to be promoted.

So, I guess that’d place under the latter of the two categories that we mentioned earlier: The ones that are horribly out of shape. Right? Maybe not so much. While…

Most of those competing in the race were in their mid-40s and were described as “middle aged and unfit”….

and…

the constables who died had been suffering from heart complaints and high blood pressure but either “did not inform the department of their ailments or they were not themselves aware of the disease”.

It might be safe to say that New Delhi doesn’t F around with having officers that are in shape:

A further 100 officers fainted during the trial in which they had to run 10 kilometres in less than ninety minutes in high monsoon temperatures.

Clearly, New Delhi cops are like the Wu Tang Clan.

Uncomfortably bringing about awareness

It’s the new rage! All the kids are doing it! Watch out for your cute little chickadee, as she’ll be joining in too! Even your mom and especially your sister!

That’s right, I’m clearly talking about the SlutWalk.

Hey, I didn’t make up the name and I certainly didn’t dress it up that way.

Groups of women have been gathering around to bring about awareness of the victims of sexual violence around the world through the only sensible way possible: Triumphantly marching around cities in high heels. Started in response to an off-color remark by a member of the Toronto police department, over the past three months, SlutWalks have begun happening around the world, with such locations as New Delhi, Toronto, Whale’s Vagina and Baltimore. The most recent event took place in Portland, gathering hundreds of … ladies? This is questioned as the article linked has a picture with a guy wearing a Captain America logo on it.

Just, hypothetically speaking: how much did this walk of sluts, no, tarts, NAY, strumpets (!) cost the city? Can we quantify that? In dollar amounts?

We’ve never asked for anything before

Good day, dear reader. (Yes, you.) Do you enjoy the SeriouslyGuys Web site, including features like “Ask Dr. Snee,” serifed headlines and a jarringly bleak background?

SG is a non-profit company–as in we’ve never made a profit off of our merch–and we’re mostly OK with that. But, you have an opportunity to help us not only continue our ongoing coverage of the War on Animals, but maybe even kick it up a notch. This is up for auction right now:

This is Umed Singh II’s 1925 Rolls-Royce Phantom. It was custom-built for hunting tigers with “a double-barreled shotgun, spotlights for night hunting and a mountable Lantaka cannon.” It is our Batmobile, if Batman made love to his car’s jet engine every night. And, most importantly, it will help us compete with the new Whale Wars spinoff in Denmark.

We just need $1 million. We will pay you back in tiger testicles.

Bollywood? More like Boring-wood, am I right?

Need some money? Then head on over to New Delhi, where you might be selected to watch a movie.

Ram Gopal Varma, director of surprise Bollywood horror hit, Phoonk, has made a sequel to said movie: Phoonk 2. Yes, we know, it’s quite original, though SG is more than a little disappointed that it was not named Phoonky instead. Nonetheless, Varma has issued a challenge: he will give 500,00 rupees (just over $10,000) to whoever can watch Phoonk 2 alone in a movie theater until the closing credits.

Is that a serious challenge? I personally can’t say, mainly because I never saw Phoonk. Then again, Bollywood is only just recently (within the past decade or so) beginning to have a horror arm to their movie world. The movies that they have had so far haven’t exactly rocked my socks. To be honest, the last Bollywood movie I saw involved a dancing Superman. Yeah.

Of course, if anyone would like to help a poor and beleaguered soul with watching a copy of Phoonk, well, my email address is attached to this article.

New Delhi: Not the public pool

New Delhi is going to be host to the Commonwealth Games in October of 2010 (say it with me, people: twenty-ten), and they’re starting to think that maybe it’d be in their best interest to start cleaning up some of the land so people might be a little impressed with the country.

So that is why they are now embarking on a campaign to holster public urination. According to the mayor of New Delhi, billboards are being put up alongside roads and on buses in an effort to embarrass the lack of shame out of would be perpetrators. We can only hope that shame is the only thing embarrassed out of said offenders.

Men, put away those penises! Ladies, there better not be a puddle underneath where your butt was! The war on crime just got a little dirtier in its efforts to clean up the city.