By now, we’re sure that all of you have heard the news regarding birds falling out of the sky like a wet dream from Hitchcock. Some have suggested that it was lightning at hand. Some have directed their speculation towards a loud and potentially traumatic event, such as fireworks. A few have even suggested a biological weapon or experiment being tested on a hapless group of avian warriors.
But no one suggests the UFO? Nobody? Really? Does nobody want to shake the tentacle of that fine alien?
Etienne Apaire — “head of a government body in charge of the fight against addiction to drugs or alcohol” — is shocked, SHOCKED, by the findings of recent alcohol surveys.
“He said research conducted in 2005 showed about one in four French 17-year-olds reported getting drunk at least three times in the previous 12 months, while one in 10 said they had got drunk 10 times or more.”
That’s right: one-quarter of all French 17 year-olds get drunk three times a year. (We’re guessing that New Year’s Eve, St. Patrick’s Day and Bastille Day are those three days.)
As such, Apaire has proposed to end Happy Hour, as if French drunks aren’t morose enough. Worse yet, he might not even be French because he’s suggested that French youth drink beer instead. Sacrebleu!
These Founding Guys could not be reached for comment.