Tag: news

The McBournie Minute: History That Happened in the Past (1990-1999)

For the U.S. the 1990s was a time of relative peace. To borrow from Dickens, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was a time of oral sex in executive buildings and clear colas. It was a time of grunge and it was a time of Hanson. It was a time of the wild west Internet and it was a time of Y2K fears.

History looks back on the 1990s as yet another decade of self-indulgence. It marked for many the hastening of corporations to catch on to and exploit new trends with the youth, and it was also when gold rimmed glasses were in fashion (I should know). In comparison to the troubles found before and after it, the 1990s seem almost like a party–a party where you have to wear your pants baggy.

Grab your Tamagotchi and hit the jump. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: History That Happened in the Past (1990-1999)

Another day, another Hitler headline

Adolf Hitler, the dead dictator of Deutchlund (that’s alliteration, Kyle), has made yet another headline this week, this time through Fox News’ pressing coverage of YouTube fads.

For the uninitiated, a YouTube fad is a joke that other people imitate for about 2 days, and then promptly becomes unfunny when Fox News covers it as News.

Users are posting footage of the mustachioed, megalomaniacal mastermind of mass murder (boo-yah) yelling at underlings in the 2004 movie, Downfall, with new subtitles about why he’s pissed:

Of course, it wouldn’t be a news report about a fleeting cultural phenomenon on Fox unless somebody was offended. A group representing Holocaust survivors has objected to at least one video in which the balmy Bavarian bratwurst-eschewing bomb-dodger has trouble finding parking in Tel Aviv, Israel.

To be honest, you’d probably have to be Jewish to get that one, anyway.

Take it from Snee: 2028 Predictions

OL, so most a few of my 2008 Predictions were proven wrong. (There’s no point in revisiting any of them or eating any crow.) I’ve learned my lesson about dabbling in the dark, forbidden arts and will never repeat my mistakes again.

So, now I’m going to make a prediction that I can smugly point to for 20 years before proven wrong. I hereby introduce my first in a series of 2028 news predictions. Continue reading Take it from Snee: 2028 Predictions

You Missed It: Open flame edition

YMI1Welcome to a new weekly feature we like to call You Missed It. No “In Case” just “You Missed It.” Every Friday around lunch time, we’ll run down the major news stories of the week, so you don’t have to feel like you aren’t paying attention.

Olympic Torch Relay
The Olympic torch relay made stops in Europe and North America this week, and all went according to plan. Protests in London, Paris and San Francisco were disrupted by protests against China’s human rights history. One green protester with bolts in his neck was heard to say, “Fire bad!”

American Airlines Cancels Flights
Thousands across the country were stranded this week when American Airlines canceled hundreds of flights because the planes had to be inspected for mechanical problems. Many passengers are still waiting at airports for another flight, but American Airlines made amends Friday when the company released a special announcement congratulating the passengers on their extended vacation.

Fall Out Boy Bassist, Ashlee Simpson Engaged
On Wednesday, Ashlee Simpson and Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz announced their engagement. The couple said they do not have a wedding date set, but Simpson will head into the studio later this month to record the audio for her part of the ceremony.

Polygamist Ranch in Texas
Police in Texas raided a compound owned by members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, claiming members of the church forced teen girls to marry and have sex with them. Hear that, pedophiles? Get organized and invest in real estate.

Repeal the unjust drinking law!

Right now, at this very moment, over 7 million people in this country are horribly oppressed. These are legal U.S. citizens, of all races, religions and political affiliations. They are single, married, divorced. They are young and they are old. The one thing they truly have in common is that they have the misfortune of living in the Commonwealth of Virginia.

“Commonwealth” is a pretentious name for “state” used by Kentucky, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania and Virginia.

In any case, Virginians are being oppressed by their own state government. The worst part is the vast majority of them don’t even know it. What is it? It’s a law that says it is illegal to make sangria within the state borders.

Sangria, the famous Spanish drink, is not allowed to be made in its true form, because the law says you cannot mix wine or beer with distilled spirits. If you make the drink, you could get locked up for a year. To this blog, that punishment is much stiffer than the drink itself.

Yes Virgina, there is sangria. It could be coming your way soon because the state general assembly is going to look at the law and hopefully change it. The Guys are sending Bryan Schools, the closest member to Richmond to protest outside the Virginia General Assembly all week long.