Tag: nfl

It’s the Sophie’s Choice of football

To stand up in the heat or stand up in the cold: that is the question.

In the (theoretically) last bit of football-related news for the next 6 and a half months, 400 fans that bought a seat for the Super Bowl at the game were made seat-less (which is like being homeless, but with 53% less bindles in play) due to a SNAFU called the weather for the past week.

The solution to this problem was declared:

League spokesman Brian McCarthy issued a statement shortly after kickoff saying the fans have been allowed into the field-level club behind the Pittsburgh Steelers bench, where they could watch the game on monitors. Or, they can view the game in person on standing-room platforms in each corner of Cowboys Stadium.

Yeah, we’ll go with the other option:

The fans will also get a refund equal to triple the face value of the $800 tickets.

Yes, that’ll do.

But he can only drive if he’s got decent protection

Speaking of quarterbacks, Tony Romo, or “Dull Tony,” as he’s known in the Latin community, is something of a golfer.

Sure, he’s one of those celebrities you see out in the pro-am tournaments, but he’s trying to qualify for the U.S. Open, advancing one round after playing in a local qualifier. True to form, Romo said he plans on getting a bit farther before letting the wheels fall off his game.

You Missed It: Wooooooooooooo! edition

It’s the end of the week for most of you reading this. Because for you, it is Friday. However, for me it is only Thursday. No, I’m not in some sort of time warp, I actually have to work tomorrow, which in your universe is Saturday. I will be missing a basketball game, a pub crawl and a parade–all in the same day. Yes, I am bitter. If you were busy heading for higher ground, odds are you missed it.

You mean spring break can be dangerous?
Remember those wild spring breaks in college? Probably not, because most people stay home. However, more students could be staying above the border this year, after the Texas Department of Public Safety warned college students not to visit Mexican border towns where rival drug cartels are waging war. This makes sense, because spring break is all about listening to authority and making good life choices.

Planet Alaska
Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is shopping around a reality TV show. The show would be about Palin’s home state and likely have the style of Discovery Channel’s Planet Earth. Sources say the show’s first episode would have everyone curious, but as more is learned, interest turns to either loving or hating it, and then the show will quit halfway through the season.

He was tall, puffy and had a homeless guy beard
Ben Roethlisberger. There’s a name you didn’t expect to hear in March, but just the same, here it comes. The star quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers was accused of sexually assaulting a woman in Georgia early Friday morning. This is the second time he’s had to deal with such allegations. In the interest of neutrality and presuming innocent until proven guilty, I’d like to say I wish Rapistberger the best of luck shaking this latest blitz.

Eat My Sports: TAINTed

To put it lightly this year, I’m disappointed in the Super Bowl. From CBS’ production, to the lackluster commercials, to the downright overall feel from kickoff that this game was just not special. It sucked, and you know it.

Look, I’m happy as hell for the city of New Orleans. They deserved this. After all of the crap they have been through since Katrina, this is a feel good moment that will last a very long time. But I’m not paid to talk cities, I’m paid to talk football and there are several reasons that this game will go down as one of the worst Super Bowls of all time. Continue reading Eat My Sports: TAINTed

Eat My Sports: The colors of fall

Welcome to another edition of Eat My Sports sans Schools. I, Bryan McBournie will be your host this evening. Bryan Schools is where he has been for a week now, curled up in his room, shaking, with the television turned to FOX waiting for the World Series to come back on, mumbling something about Joe Buck.

Sounding off about sports is not typically my thing, but watching the NFL this season has brought something very important to my attention: teams don’t like wearing their regular jerseys anymore. When it comes to retro jerseys, the former AFL teams are guilty.

I get the 50-year anniversary celebration, but that’s one game. Sweet Troy Aikman, it’s only one game. Sure, we all like to be reminded of what your team used to look like before you moved it to another venue, but if you keep wearing them, it’s not really throwback, is it? Continue reading Eat My Sports: The colors of fall

What’s the world coming to?

B-b-but there's a cross on his bathrobe. War on Christmas!You know, we can only guess where we’re headed in this handbasket when an old Southern man is accused of racism simply because he:

1) Refuses to marry interracial couples.

2) Does so because he worries about mixed-race children.

3) According to the phone call, seems mostly concerned about black-and-white interracial marriages.

4) Believes that, if “you really and truly feel down in your heart,” this isn’t wrong.

Is that all? That’s all the evidence you have?

What? This Justice of the Peace actively violated the 1967 U.S. Supreme Court decision that “the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State?”

That’s it?

Gosh, folks. What’s next? Will other people be accused of racism simply because they think a quarterback is overrated because he’s black, implying that there has never been a good black quarterback in the history of the NFL?

Eat My Sports: There’s only one Febtober

Everyone remembers the unforgettable “Celebrity Jeopardy” performances on SNL. There’s a “sword” comment one way or another in any conversation involving Sean Connery, it’s undeniable. My personal favorite was the skit where “Months That End In ‘tober'” is answered with a buzz and on cue “FEBTOBER!!!” delivered by Darell Hammond as the bearded Connery. Some of you may remember me starting writing about the 2009 MLB season way back in early February, and that got me thinking…

Febtober is the perfect way to describe a truly avid baseball fan’s passion for watching every pitch, agonizing over every box score, and blowing every loss out of proportion. While the casual sports’ fans were watching the NFL draft, we were watching pitch counts. When you were watching the Los Angeles Kobes, we were scrutinizing slugging percentages. And while you were debating whether Rafael Nadal would look better with a shorter haircut, we were debating whether or not Cliff Lee or Roy Halladay would make the better late season pitching acquisition. Continue reading Eat My Sports: There’s only one Febtober

Eat My Sports: Your 2009 Washington Redskins

Note: I know this looks like yours truly, Bryan McBournie, wrote this, but in fact it was written by Bryan Schools, who is currently chained up in Ben Roethlisberger’s love dungeon. Luckily Big Ben allowed Schools a cell phone to keep himself amused. Rather than calling for help, he wrote this via text message.

Ladies and gentlemen of the D.C. area, you had reason to doubt your Landover football team had reason for concern to begin the season, now you should be in full-blown panic mode! The Lions were bound to beat somebody at some time in their future, and that time came sooner rather later unfortunately for Jim Zorn and Jason Campbell.

The loss to Detroit is an early icing on the cake for a snowball that began in a Week 1 loss to the Giants, but gained an enormous amount of steam after an embarrasing win against the Rams. Notice, the Redskins are probably the only team in the league who can have the word “embarrasing” attached to a win. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Your 2009 Washington Redskins

Eat My Sports: Gone mournin’

Actor Patrick Swayze is dead. That’s the bad news. The good news is that he had the time of his life, and he owes it all to Schools.

For that reason, there will be no Eat My Sports this week, as Bryan Schools is in mourning. But fear not, he will be back next week to update you all on the SeriouslyLions, make some picks for the upcoming games, and of course, talk about how amazing Tom Brady and the New England Patriots of Football after their exciting win over the Buffalo Buffaloes last night.

Or maybe he’ll just talk about the fun new hairstyles of football players. We’re only seven days away from finding out the answer!

Eat My Sports: NFL predictions edition

Bust out your Michael Vick jersey, a case of Miller Lite and prepare to gain 20 pounds, IT’S FOOTBALL SEASON! How will it all pan out? So glad you asked. My sports knowledge and ability to guestimate gives you predictions for every division, team and eventual playoff outcomes. Let’s ride.

NFC East

The NFC East was supposed to be the new “it” divisions last year, shortly before it lived up to expectations in 2008 the way Angelina Jolie tanked in Changeling. Now in 2009 the East is down to one good team, two teams that got rid of egomaniacal receivers, and the Redskins. Don’t be surprised when this team yields only one playoff bid this year.

The Call: Philadelphia Eagles 12-4

The Rest: New York Giants 9-7, Dallas Cowboys 8-8, Washington Redskins 5-11

NFC South

Another pretender division that choked like a British nanny as the weather got colder. Yes, I predicted the Saints to go to the Super Bowl last year, but injuries and NO DEFENSE prevented that. This year you have an aging Carolina squad, New Orleans’ offense, a terrible Tampa team and an Atlanta franchise that will probably get a second year hangover from Matt Ryan, I mean he is still only a year out of college, hangovers happen my friend. The bottom line is you could make an argument for any of these teams, simply because the division is so bad. So pick the least heinous person to make out with at this party, because this one isn’t pretty.

The call: Atlanta Falcons 10-6,

The rest: New Orleans Saints 8-8, Carolina Panthers 7-9, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 6-10 Continue reading Eat My Sports: NFL predictions edition