Tag: nike

LIVESOMEONEELSE

In the wake of allegations by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency, Lance Armstrong has stepped down from chairing his line of cheap men’s accessories, Livestrong. Minutes later, Nike announced that they will no longer use him as a spokesman (ha!).

The non-profit, non-governmental USADA put out a report last week accusing Armstrong and his Tour de France teams of using performance enhancing drugs to win the race seven consecutive times from 1999 to 2005. Since then, Armstrong has been on the ropes, debating whether he will submit to a polygraph.

Armstrong said he looks forward to spending more time at home with his testicle … provided that he hasn’t given it cancer, too, with all those  alleged hormone treatments he didn’t take.

Eat My Sports: Just boycott it

This past weekend as some of you may know, a tradition unlike any other was held. No, I’m not talking about my bachelor party (though the fact that Rick, McBournie and myself are still alive remains a medical mystery), I’m talking about The Masters. Phil Mickelson’s victory at Augusta National was a great story of a  family facing a true adversity, not a tabloid one. It was also one of the single greatest performances at the event. Unfortunately though, this year’s edition also brought back Tiger Woods, and one of the biggest slaps in the face to public intelligence in a long time.

If you haven’t seen the commercial yet, a solemn Woods is pictured in black and white (somebody has been watching a lot of Schindler’s List!). He stares at the camera while a creepy recording of the late Earl Woods speaks to Tiger as if beyond the grave. Trying to get us, the public, to feel some sort of sympathy for a self-induced train wreck. And oh yeah, go out and believe in the Tiger/Nike lovechild again. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Just boycott it

You win some, you crash some, you keep some

You all know the story by now: Tiger Woods crashed his car due to a massive conspiracy involving the PGA, his wife and auto insurance.

It’s a tragedy. A true tragedy.

But it’s not all bad! Sure, his body may be a little bruised and roughed up, but luckily, his checkbook won’t be. Gatorade, Nike, Gillette and Electronic Arts have all issued statements showing their support for the man.

“Nike supports Tiger and his family. Our relationship remains unchanged,”

“Tiger and his family have our support as they work through this private matter,”

“At this time, we are not making any changes to our existing marketing programs,”

“Our strong relationship with Tiger for more than a decade remains unchanged. We respect Tiger’s privacy, we wish him a fast recovery and we look forward to seeing him back on the golf course.”

When 109.3 million dollars of your yearly income was made off of the golf course, it’s reassuring that your sponsors become aspects of a Tammy Wynette song.

Eat My Sports: Tiger beat

Golf. It’s boring, and they wear stupid clothes. These guys, for some asinine reason, find relaxation in the frustration of hitting something the size of an eye into a Dixie cup 300 yards away. Every single one of these geniuses make this sport unwatchable, save for one. Tiger Woods. And no, Bryan, not even your love for flannel pants can make me agree that this game is enjoyable.

I never liked golf until I saw an electrifying young man with a Nike swoosh for a smile win The Master’s when I was 14. But as much as I can’t stand being bored, I can’t turn a blind eye to greatness. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Tiger beat