The Guys were made for your regrets

We all regret something. Some regret not taking their narcolepsy medication prior to operating a woodchipper. Others regret dropping out of their safety school instead of hunkering down and dropping out of Harvard.

And the majority of women surveyed by Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management professor Neil Roese have romantic regrets: “the one that got away, a missed opportunity or someone you knew in college [with whom] it didn’t quite work out.”

Ladies, if there’s a certain Guy you regret not going all the way with, then have we got good news for you: sex kills. We will only break your heart.

So … how did that make you feel?

Let’s say you are the president of a university. (This is very easy if you actually are one, which is probably a common demographic of our readers.)

Now, let’s imagine that one of your professors invited a musician/sex educator and his fiancé to help teach a voluntary psychology lecture on sex toys and the female orgasm. The musician then penetrates his wife, on stage, with an apparatus comprised of a machine-powered saw with a phallus at the end until she achieves orgasm. (Talk about your Mythbusters, right?)

OK, so people at the school are upset. Do you:

A. Quietly discipline the professor in a professional setting?

B. Ask for the number of the exhibitionist and ask if they does weddings? (… For the music!)

C. Publicly denounce the lecture in the press, attracting every Internet pervert and gawker’s attention to what was once a highly-respected institute of learning?

If you answered C, then congratulations! You made it onto SeriouslyGuys.com today!

A toast: To guilt!

Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management researchers have learned something interesting about guilt: it makes you drink. For some reason, millions of Americans want to forget why they feel guilty, and nothing helps you forget like booze.

But did you know that undergraduates feel guilty about drinking underage and/or to excess? When shown Canadian (?) anti-drinking drinking public service ads, the teens decided they needed a drink.

American teens drinking to forget guilt-trips from our frozen, drunken neighbors to the north? Yeah, we’ll drink to that, too.