Tag: nude

Wouldn’t the summer be a better time?

Switzerland. It’s home for many things: cheese, chocolate, bank accounts to mercenaries all over the world, and now, naked hiking.

Yes, hiking in the Swiss canton of Appenzell-Innerrhoden in the buff has apparently become all the rage, and like all rages, the local constabulary aim to put an end to it. NOW. Individuals that take nude constitutionals better carry a little green on them, as police are now facing on the spot fines if caught*.

This blogger just raises one small question: wouldn’t it be more preferable to hike naked in Switzerland during the spring or summer?

*This is different from a bribe, as it usually costs more. Smart hikers are advised to carry enough cash for both on them, just in case.

Internet activity stops after Emma Watson announcement

With the elections finally over — unless Georgia has any more overdue offices to fill — coupled with zero interest in foreign news, the Internet has officially frozen on news that Emma Watson, Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter movies, might do some nude scenes in future projects.

Since this announcement reached all blogs, online magazines and message boards this morning, all production of snarky t-shirts, LOLcats and satirical fake news posts have ceased, presumably as the entire Internet population has paused to masturbate.

Regular Internet users are distraught, users like Amanda Daniels, who had to do actual work today since the entire Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan forum went dead.

“Will nobody respond to my post about how Willow should make a crossover appearance in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles?” Daniels said. “I mean, Hermione’s hot, but Alyson Hannigan and Summer Glau in my proposed shower scene? Shiney!”

Only one Web site has maintained any traffic in the past hour: the Google image search. However, experts believe the Internet will get up and moving again once their stimulus package takes effect: planting the seeds of an “Is Megan Fox Hot?” debate on Fark.

I’ll just wear those home

Have you ever gone shopping, only to realize that you forgot that one item, that key component, that very thing you needed?

Yeah, so, some people have that problem worse than you.

A male Japanese Air Force Major decided to do some shopping after leaving a late-night farewell party for one of his colleagues. One can make the logical assumption that he was drunk, because he then proceeded to ide behind a convenience store to strip off his clothes before entering. Oh wait-it gets better.

Once inside, totally naked, our Major set out to purchase panties and pantyhose.

His Emperor’s New Clothes incident was only witnessed by the store’s clerk (also the only person in the store other than Private Partyman), who quickly called the cops after the officer left the store. Major Boner has been suspended from his duties for 10 days, and papers were filed for indecent exposure. Insert lame joke about legal briefs here.

Sarah Palin?

Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin? Sarah Palin! Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin! Sarah Palin!

Sarah Palin!

Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin.

By the way, guess who has a nude portrait currently hanging in a North Side Chicago bar. Who says the (potential) vice president can’t inspire people?

When good acts go bad

It seems as though everyone has jumped on the nude charity calendar wave—just like those old ladies in that oh so adorable movie—and sure, you might think that it’s a totally great idea that just can’t lose, because, hey, who doesn’t like calendars of naked old women … until you get stuck with a $16,000 printing bill and 5,000 unsold copies. Oh, and being in debt because of the act. Then, maybe, not so much.

Thanks a lot, Helen Mirren. You big Oscar winning jerk.