Nude beach rejected because it might scare animals

In Belgium is the land of waffles, and is also home to a growing nudist, or “naturist,” movement. Its numbers are swelling so much that nudist groups are seeking a second nude beach, because the first one is asses to elbows, literally.

But the Flemish Agency for Nature and Woodland has rejected a permit for a new nude beach permit over concern that it might scare away the wildlife. The Belgian government is worried that a local bird’s mating habitat might be affected by the sight of some naked humans, some of whom may be getting it on, and decide not to get it on themselves.

This should outrage every human. We as a species should be more important than any animal in the eyes of the law. If birds can do it in public, they should get over themselves when they see us do it, too.

Post office not sending to nudes

A nudist resort in Florida certainly has no shortage of packages, but the people say they aren’t getting any packages through the mail.

Residents of Eden RV Resort and City Retreat in Florida are complaining that they aren’t receiving their mail when a female carrier refuses to deliver when she fills in. Their regular mail carrier apparently has no problems delivering, though. The nudists say the U.S. Postal Service has not tried to resolve the issue in any way.

“Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds (except for naked people).” — U.S. Postal Service creed

Pardon me, is that your walking stick?

Were you planning on that vacation to the Swiss Alps this summer so you could go hiking in the nude? A lot of people were. Sadly, there are going to be a lot of disappointed naked people, because Switzerland has declared a ban on nude hiking.

Yes, local Swiss people voted for a ban of nude hiking in their area because a lot of, you guessed it, Germans have been trekking through the area wearing nothing but the pack on their backs. Violators will be fined the equivalent of $176.

So there! Let it be known that if you want to hike naked, you will be punished with more than just sore feet and bug bites in places you had not thought about in a while.