Post office not sending to nudes

A nudist resort in Florida certainly has no shortage of packages, but the people say they aren’t getting any packages through the mail.

Residents of Eden RV Resort and City Retreat in Florida are complaining that they aren’t receiving their mail when a female carrier refuses to deliver when she fills in. Their regular mail carrier apparently has no problems delivering, though. The nudists say the U.S. Postal Service has not tried to resolve the issue in any way.

“Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds (except for naked people).” — U.S. Postal Service creed

San Francisco takes a hard look at nudists

He’s what you’d call a reading buff.

The days of constant public nudity in San Francisco may be coming to a close. City officials will vote on an ordinance that bans all public nudity in the city.

Well … not quite all of it. Parents can still raise diaper-less free range preschoolers (provided they pick up after them or chuck it in the neighbor’s yard). Also, the ban would not apply to pride parades, fetish fairs and costumed — or, in this case, costumeless — races.

The ban would really only affect the naturists who congregate daily at Jane Warner Plaza, at the corner of Castro and Market Streets. Shop owners in the traditionally gay Castro district have complained, saying the nudists have gone from the occasional free spirit to a daily flock of dick pigeons, causing people to avoid the district altogether.

If the ban passes, then you can still leave your heart in San Francisco. Just don’t forget your pants.

Does this mean a Ron Paul ark?

And they will call him Ron Paul-Muad'dib.In any movement of crazy people, some cultural isolationism is bound to develop. We see it in fringe religious groups that build Little House on the Prairie porn villages.

And it makes sense. Even nudists, who live together to live in violation of one general more (not wearing pants), move into insular colonies because they’re still opposed to other people looking at them to masturbate.

But, sometimes they do so to isolate themselves biologically, creating a Bene Gesserit breeding program to facilitate the coming of their Chosen One. In this vein, Ron Paul supporters have created an online dating site, and the Ronster has approved it.

Then again, it’s probably for the best. Ever been on a first date and experience an awkward silence after revealing yourself as a rabid devotee to a third-party candidate who will never, ever, ever, ever win?

(SeriouslyGuy Bryan McBournie, a diehard Bull Moose, can attest to this problem.)