Broccoli coffee: Because you shouldn’t enjoy anything

If there’s one thing the Millennial haven’t ruined, it’s coffee. Although they have certainly tried. But here comes an earnest attempt to make the one good thing about mornings into something awful.

Researchers in Australia have come up with what they hope will be the next big trend: broccoli coffee. The Australian government teamed up with a private research group to come up with coffee brewed with broccoli powder to get people to eat their veggies, Vegemite notwithstanding. They make powder out of broccoli, and add it into the coffee and say it doesn’t taste that bad. Scientists say two spoonfuls of that crap is equal to a serving of vegetables.

Broccoli powder can be added into any drink, not just coffee. We give it a week before it ruins beer, too.

Pip-pip Cheerio and all that jazz

This is just as disappointing as last year's Valentine's Day.Between Cheerios claiming on the box that it cures heart disease and people claiming they’re under attack by President Obama, we’re starting to wonder when cereal became more than a container for free decoder rings.

Seriously? We’re worried about Cheerios?

What about Lucky Charms’ uncontested claim that they’re a magical part of a complete nutritious breakfast?

Or how about Frosted Flakes’ criminal lack of warning that too much of it before soccer results in on-field vomiting?

What? Just sayin’.