You Missed It: End of 2012 edition

It's how I do my thinking.
It’s how I do my thinking.

Oh, hello there. I’m just here sitting back in my smoking jacket and enjoying a nice whiskey on the rocks (my third). You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about 2012. It really sucked, didn’t it? Stop and think about it for a minute, did anything good happen this year to anyone but Psy? Not really. However, it certainly was a wild, memorable ride. Perhaps it was the looming threat of the end of the world. It could be the heavy buzz I’ve got going, but I feel like looking back on the biggest stories of this year. Grab a drink and join me, won’t you?

January:

Swingin’ Gingrich
Marianne Gingrich made her ex-husband, Newt, look even worse by dropping the bombshell that he wanted to have an open marriage. Apparently this is worse than asking your wife for a divorce when she’s recovering from cancer treatments in the hospital. Mitt Romney didn’t see what the big deal is–you can have more than one wife, right?

Also, they battle Hitler
In a story that can only end well, scientists in New York made “supersoldier” ants. I’m not really sure why this was so important to do, but now there are ants with really large heads. Their heads are so large that they are able to block the entrances to their nest when it comes under attack. Also, they do this really cool shield-throwing trick.

Equal time rule
A year away from inauguration day, and President Barack Obama was out on the campaign trail. He was raising funds, and he’d do just about anything for your money. At The Apollo, he noted that Rev. Al Green was in the audience, and did his own version of “Let’s Stay Together,” well a few bars of it, anyway. And he’s got the chops for it, too. The American public got to hear his pipes more along the campaign trail when he sang “Red Solo Cup” in Missouri. Continue reading You Missed It: End of 2012 edition

You Missed It: I’ve got a wooden stake edition

We are now less than a week away from Thanksgiving, and that means that you probably don’t care about us. You’re more focused on the feast ahead. We hear you. That’s why The Guys will be off until November 30. It’s better this way, there probably won’t be much going on in the news next week, anyway. If you were busy setting a record for longest-serving member of Congress, odds are you missed it.

Nosferatu = sexy
New Moon is out in theaters now, much to the delight of tween girls and cougars alike. The movie features that non-vampire chick with the cute vampire dude defending her from werewolves, and takes place during the day for some reason. (I missed most of the trailer.) So teenage girls are now into pasty guys who don’t get out much? Man, I graduated from high school a decade too early.

Straying from ideals? We don’t take kindly to that in the GOP
Lawmakers in South Carolina are looking into impeachment of Gov. Mark Sanford. For those of you who don’t remember, he’s the guy who went missing on the job and exported a mistress job to Argentina. The reason for the possible impeachment, dereliction of duty, making his staff lie about where he was, and crying during his apology.

Obamacare’s pubic option
This week changes to breast cancer screening and pap test guidelines caused something of an uproar. Lady part doctors and advocacy groups said that women should continue having their hoo-has and goodies checked regularly so their ladies and their nether region don’t get sick. I don’t understand a word of that medical mumbo jumbo.