Ladies and gentlemen, be afraid. Be very afraid. We are now officially in an oil crisis. Why so?
Sean “Puffy” Combs is flying commercial. FOR REALSIES. (Bad Boy)
Yes, with every step he takes, every move he makes, every single day, every time he prays in the air will be on a commercial flight instead of his private airplane. People, this is just horrible. I mean, we can’t inconvenience a man of this magnitude. (Can’t stop won’t stop) Well, at least any more than we already have. Some quick but meaningful suggestions:
1. Don’t drive.
2. If you do drive, use a Mustang. The horse.
3. Telecommute. Especially strippers, priests, and waiters.
4. Find the shortest distance between two points and go that way. Through schools. Across water. Through a luncheon. It doesn’t matter at all how, people-it’s for P. Diddy! (Uh-uh, uhuh)
How much longer is this guy going to have to risk spending a minimum $200,000 to fly himself and his entourage across the country? That means unnecessary autographs. It means waiting in lines. It means no airgina. We need to put aside our differences with those linen-wearing valvolines and put this crisis to bed before Puff Daddy needs to use Amtrak.
Think about it.