MasterChugs Theater: ‘Old School’

Mitch comes home to find his insatiable girlfriend in the bedroom watching hardcore porn. He thinks all his Christmases have come at once … until he discovers the two naked strangers she’s spending time with. When your girlfriend’s hosting a mini-orgy and you’re not invited, it’s probably time to move on. So begins Old School, an absolutely hilarious comedy which follows Mitch and his buddies Frank and Beanie. They decide to drop out of the relationship rat race and rediscover their college years by opening a frat house at the local university.

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Sean Young shows young starlets how to get it done

Not to be outdone by Hollywood’s current stable of floozies, Sean Young recently took it upon herself to show Paris, Britney and Lindsay how to really make a drunken spectacle.

Ms. Young kicked it Olde Schoole by taunting a winning director at the Directors Guild of America Awards, unlike the current, lazier generation that gets drunk and stupid at clubs. Bascially, that’s like going down in Sunday mass as opposed to holding an orgy in a whorehouse.

Ms. Young has now trumped them again by entering rehab before an unseemly arrest. The word on the street is that she will go through it only once this year, proving that classy ladies are housebroken after one accident.

Take note, little princesses. You just got served by the Queen.