UCLA archaeologists uncovered the world’s oldest winery, stretching humanity’s history with crunk juice all the way back to 4000 BC now. The ancient Armenian wine was believed to be used for funerals, usually held daily between 5 and 8 pm. It is believed to have evolved into “Happy Hour” once hygiene was invented.
But, that’s not the real story.
Every so often, the real story gets buried in the later paragraphs. Say, story, what was the oldest use of grape seeds before this discovery?
“The oldest previous evidence of grape seeds and other organic materials dates to around 3150 BC and was found in the tomb of the Egyptian king Scorpion I.”
That’s right: there really was a Scorpion King. And here we thought that was the most ridiculous of all the Mummy films.
The oldest American is dead; long live the oldest American!