Let’s be honest: Oprah probably hasn’t come in direct contact with a penis in a decade or two. But if you count her new face cream, then technically she has, because it’s made of foreskins.
Oprah Winfrey has endorsed a face cream that is made from human foreskins, and apparently the Canadian (uncut) public demands to know why. That’s why they are picketing her appearances in the country. We’re assuming that this is not yet legal in the U.S.
An informal survey of some of The Guys found that at least one of them is circumcised, so we’re, shall we say, split on this issue.
Oprah Winfrey kicked off her farewell tour, announcing that she will end her show in September 2011.
Why then? Because she feels that “it’s time.” Or, because it’ll be the 25th season, which will make all the documentaries and retrospectives easier to caption. And the historians (*snicker*) that pore over her work will refer to it as her quarter of a century.
But still, why, Oprah? What will we do? How will he get enough Oprah in our lives with only your magazine, upcoming cable network, spin-offs featuring fake experts and every other Obama news story? How!? Why?! Gayle?!?!
In other news:
You’ve spent 25 years with Oprah. How’s about you get a job now?
I had planned on writing something along the lines of how tired I am already of hearing about what President Barack Obama ate for breakfast and what color underwear Michelle Obama is wearing, but then I found this bit of news: Illinois Gov. Rod “The Bod” Blagojevich thought about appointing Oprah Winfrey to the U.S. Senate. Let me repeat that.
Blagojevich thought about appointing Oprah to the U.S. Senate–in real life.
For some unknown reason, Blagojevich is touring the television circuit like he’s not sure he and the squirrel living on top of his head will ever get to see another camera again. I can’t imagine why he or his friendly woodland creature would think a thing like that. Continue reading