The future looms closer, and I’m left unhappy

I love the future. Everything about it sounded awesome when I was a kid. Everything about it looked awesome when I was a kid. I bet that everything about even would have smelled awesome when I was a kid.

But now, as an adult, I’m left downtrodden.

Oh, sure, we can have marvels here and there. I mean, just recently, a group of Swedish surgeons transplanted a windpipe that was artificially grown. Fantastic! We’re now officially one step closer to having a completely donor-less organ replacement society. Guys, that means you’ll no longer have to check that box when renewing your license just so you can brag about it to a girl in hopes of getting laid.

But we’re not in the future yet. Why? Because I don’t have access to my very own jet-pack. You lied to me, science! THIS IS THE FUTURE! I WANT MY GODDAMN JET-PACK!

Two becomes none

In a story that resembles something out of a John Carpenter film, a man has committed suicide and left a woman dead. Surprisingly enough, the heart of the man that lays dead has been through this experience twice-with almost the same exact players, no less.

Yes, Sonny Graham took a shotgun to the throat, akin to Terry Cottle, who had done so 13 years previous. Oh, Graham had Cottle’s heart inside of him, due to a virus that had attacked his heart. Did I forget to mention that? Oh, then I should probably also mention that Graham had married Cheryl Cottle approximately 9 years after the transplant. That’s important too, right?

The internet is now abuzz over the concept of “cellular memory” and whether it actually caused Graham to repeat the actions of his heart’s former owner. Of course, Cheryl apparently has a rather questionable grieving process, so that should possibly be taken into account.

Will it happen a third time? Only time will tell. Well, that and if my cellular memory forces a person allergic to peanuts to commit suicide via peanut butter ingestion if they ever get my liver.