Ghosts yearn for days of Broadway sensibility

Believe it or not, theatre (not to be confused with theaters, where the floors are only sticky with butter) is in a bit of trouble.

For some reason, Americans aren’t interested in live stage performances of movies they’ve already seen, like Legally Blonde, Les Miserables and Spider-Man.

The last in that list has already injured four people, three of which were “flying”-related.

This logically proves only one thing: Broadway ghosts have had enough of this Ice Capades s#@t, and they are not going to take it anymore.

Age-old foes: safety vs. jobs

Republican Senators want to know: what will it take to get Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar and President Barack Obama to reopen all U.S. offshore oil drilling sites. They are concerned about a 6-month moratorium on drilling that could mean lost oil jobs.

And they’re right: even though all offshore drilling safety has been overseen by the Mineral Management Service, an organization that is still under investigation for over 10 years of graft, we need to speed up safety inspections and put workers back on derricks.

Besides, this is about jobs. Every time there’s an accident, another oil job opens up!