Oven shoots man

How much do you trust your appliances? Probably too much.

An Ohio man was shot by his oven earlier this week, and police have yet to arrest it. According to reports, the 44-year-old man put his gun in the broiler compartment of his oven — as standard gun safety protocol dictates — because his girlfriend and her children were coming over to the house. Later, the girlfriend decided to use the oven, and minutes later, shots rang out.

The heat from the oven cause bullets in the man’s gun to explode. He was hit by bullet fragments in each shoulder as he tried to secure his firearm. He was the only one injured and is expected to recover.

Authorities have been unable to determine why the oven turned on its owner.

Today’s green tip

Cooking: most of us fear it, but find it necessary. (You can only eat raw steak with an uncooked potato so many times.) But the thing about cooking is that it is just not eco-friendly. Sure, it may make things taste good, and save you money you could be spending on driving to a restaurant, eating there, and driving back, leaving a cloud of greehouse gasses in your wake, but it’s not green enough.

You see, ovens, microwaves and stoves use energy, and that energy comes from a power or natural gas processing plant, which means you are killing the environment with your selfish need to eat things several times a day.

Luckily, one man found a solution: a solar-heated oven. All you need is some cardboard, some aluminum foil and an acrylic cover. It can bake stuff, you just have to wait a while and have no idea what the temperature inside the oven is or how long its been cooking. Let’s totally throw out the window the fact that cardboard burns. This is a great idea that could help developing countries keep from starvation, or collecting firewood. We can save trees by giving them these ovens.

Wait, isn’t cardboard made from trees, too?