Tag: palestine

You Missed It: Front and center edition

The World Cup is here. No, really, it is. I had the same reaction, myself, “Hey, is that the international soccer thing?” Turns out, yes it is, and they play it only once every four years. It’s like the Olympics of soccer–if the Olympics didn’t have soccer. If you were busy getting your iPad hacked, odds are you missed it.

Helen Thomas retires, wig’s fate uncertain
Reporter Helen Thomas goes against the grain. First off, she’s a woman reporter, and she’s been one much longer than society trusted females with writing news stories. On top of that, she’s an anti-Semite (take THAT, everyone who thinks “the Jews” control the media!). Thomas, who has been part of the White House Press corps. since the Lincoln administration, stepped down this week after she said in a video interview that Israelis should go home and give Palestine back. The Jews who control the media were not pleased.

Chicago has only one cursed team left
The Chicago Blackhawks are the latest team to end a championship drought, after winning the Stanley Cup this week. The Blackhawks defeated the Philadelphia Flyers in six games. This is Chicago’s first Cup since 1961, and means a lot to–hey! HEY! Come back, I’ll move on. I promise.

What you talkin’ ’bout, Shannon?
Right on time, the fight for Gary Coleman’s legacy has begun. Despite being divorced since 2008, Shannon Price believes she has the final say over Coleman’s estate, especially his money. Oh, and she also sold a picture of herself with him on his death bed to tabloids. Has anyone told this grave gold digger that Gary Coleman really didn’t have that much money?

Thank god it wasn’t a sex scandal

The Guys prepared for the worst when we heard the longtime White House correspondent Helen Thomas retired in an uproar. Fortunately, there is no sex tape, just some anti-Semitism.

In a Youtube video last week, Thomas suggested that Israelis should “get the hell out of Palestine,” and “go home” to “Poland, Germany … and America and everywhere else.”

Of course, the big issue for the other correspondents is her prime front row seat in the White House press room. Sides are already being staked out as the news reporters are suggesting that the seat isn’t appropriate for opinion writers.

See? It’s just like if you were forced to resign from your job for taking an nonobjective side in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

The audacity of Pope

Is it just us, or does the Pope cover some dated issues?

What did he talk about in the Middle East today? The Holocaust and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Other times? Birth control, abortion and masturbation. Oh, and don’t get us started on the old man’s stories about Jesus. (How many times can you hear about the same three miracles, anyway?)

Weren’t these topics already settled in 1970s and 1980s ABC After-School Specials, and more grippingly than an old German guy speaking Latin?

We want some new insights, Your Holiness. What do you think about Twitter? Or universal health care? How bad did you think Wolverine was? Get some new material, old man.

You Missed It: Join hands and sing edition

Following a tradition going on for at least 15 years, Thursday was once again followed by Friday. That means we have reached the end of the week once again. If you were busy getting booed by protesters in the U.K., odds are you missed it.

Oui are in control
French President Nicolas Sarkozy announced on Tuesday that France would take a command role in North Atlantic Treaty Organization for the first time in 40 years. France left the command position in the 1960s after policy disagreements with the U.S. The reintroduction of France to NATO command means that the allied countries now have another military option in their repertoire: immediate surrender.

Cease in the Middle East
Israeli and Palestinian forces began a six-month truce this week and guns fell silent for the first time since anyone can clearly remember. The truce has been hailed as a sign of progress with peace efforts in the Middle East. Both sides said they were inspired to agree to a truce after watching You Don’t Mess with the Zohan.

Wait, there aren’t any lakes in L.A.?
After a six games, the Boston Celtics defeated the Los Angeles Lakers to win the (NBA) World Championship. The final game of the series was a blow out, but nonetheless, the postgame interviews were priceless. The best of all was the interview with Kevin Garnett, who told ESPN’s Michelle Tafoya “Michelle, you look great tonight, girl,” in between incoherent answers, shouts into the air and admitting that he is indeed “certifiable.” We are now more afraid of Garnett more than we were of Ron Artest.

Finally, a superhero movie this summer
Will Smith’s latest effort, Hancock, premiered in London earlier this week, but it is not scheduled to be released into theaters until July 2. Not much is known about the plot from the commercials, but SG has learned it is a biopic about founding father John Hancock and is seen as a cinematic response to HBO’s mini-series John Adams. In the movie, Smith portrays Hancock as a black, homeless, drunk superhero who is jaded by society but has the power to sign his name in really large letters.