Gov’t declares war on vampires (robocalls by proxy)

Somebody at the FTC must have received a prerecorded sales call, because they’re finally making the practice illegal. As of Tuesday, September 1, it will be illegal for businesses to place unsolicited calls. So, just like vampires, they can’t come in unless you invite them.

Wait a minute … September 1 … that’s only 6 days away from … Labor Day

Oh. My. God. It’s finally happened! The U.S. government has declared war on capitalism and is ringing in the new Socialist year by reigning in the auto-dialing invisible Hand of the Free Market!

And if you don’t believe us, politicians are exempt from the ban!

Damn you, Obama! WE WILL BE HEARD!

Take it from Snee: Who’s Number Two?

Thank god this election is almost over. The two halves of this country get so collectively stupid that I’ve started to feel like I’m at a rock show: getting pushed around by moshers while security swings their Mag-Lights at them through me.

I’m ready for news cycles filled with the usual inanity of missing white girls and celebrity infidelity, as opposed to the latest political talking points, like “Joe the Plumber” and, of course, “America’s #1.”

What does it mean, really, when some moron says that America’s the greatest and bestest country, numero uno amongst the other entire 192 principalities people call home? Continue reading Take it from Snee: Who’s Number Two?