How To: Recover from a sports injury

The Guys would like to dedicate this How To to our good friend Tom Brady, who was injured not yet a week ago. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Tom. You’re a god amongst men. If you follow our advice, we will see you on the road to the Super Bowl next season.

Injuries are pretty common in your sport. Take Jimmy, your good buddy. He messed his shoulder up on that dive the other day. Who knew you even needed to dive in golf, anyway? Regardless of what sport you play, something is going to go horribly, horribly wrong. When that happens, it’s up to you to make sure you don’t end up horribly disfigured (or at least more than you are already). That’s why we are here to tell you how to recover from a sports injury. Continue reading How To: Recover from a sports injury

Take it from Snee: The science behind fairy tales, love

In keeping with this week’s theme of love, whether it is love of the New England Patriots, movies or Shaquille O’Neal, I’m looking at what those stories and plenty of others hint at: fairy tale love.

Live Science reported on theoretical studies about fairy tales, the purpose of these being to find out if their plot devices are physically possible.

  • A prince could scale Rapunzel’s tower, so long as she tied her trusses to a support beam first.
  • Ariel (a.k.a. the Little Mermaid) could have her voice blocked with a transplant that bends sound waves, rendering them inaudible.
  • A carpet can fly if air vibrates at the right frequency.

Continue reading Take it from Snee: The science behind fairy tales, love

The McBournie Minute: I love the Patriots

This week, in honor of Valentine’s Day, we’re writing our features about love. Also, you will be treated to daily editions of MasterChugs Theater with “Love in the Theater.”

“Heroes never last long because, although they may inspire us to become more, they remind us of our own shortcomings. We appreciate them at first, but then we look at our own lives and wonder, ‘Why not me?’ At first, ‘why not me’ means, ‘I could do that, too.’ But after a while … ‘why not me’ turns into ‘I’m not that great, and neither is that person.'” —Rick Snee

I love the New England Patriots. I guess it’s because of Bryan Schools’ column last Tuesday, or that I’m still not over the game, but I am sick of everybody bashing the Patriots. This is the last time I will talk about it. I retract my statement last week, I will not argue that they deserved to win Super Bowl XLII. The Pats looked flat from the very beginning, especially before the game. For some reason, no one was bouncing around or talking a big game. They simply moped out to the field like it was just another practice. IT WAS THE EFFING SUPER BOWL!

No, the Patriots did not deserve to win. But neither did the New York Giants.

Continue reading The McBournie Minute: I love the Patriots

Eat My Sports: Playoff quarterbacks

I promise I will get off of my football kick after the Pro Bowl. I mean does anyone really pay any attention to anything else this time of year? Well, other than Maria Sharapova, but she doesn’t play until 3:22 am Eastern, trust me, I know.

First off, I know, I was wrong. I had the Chargers-Pats game nailed down to a L.T. (lame?) except the Bolts, like a sophomore on a prom date, choked and couldn’t punch it in past the goal line. And never in my life have I ever overestimated a team (Packers) and quarterback (Eli Manning) so grossly as I had last Sunday. To Manning and the Giants, you’ve proved yourself and paid your dues, even if you lose in February, you’ve earned a nation’s respect. We’ll get to Super Bowl predictions next week though. This week, we are going to analyze and rate all 12 playoff QBs and rate them. It’s kind of like rating a Hooters’ walk off, just less hot.

Continue reading Eat My Sports: Playoff quarterbacks