You Missed It: The vomitting means it’s working edition

At the climax of another week, but really, what is there to look forward to? Football season is over, there’s another week until Valentine’s Day. Right now it’s just cold and boring. I know, we can celebrate Ronald Reagan’s birthday! Another week saved. If you were busy eeking by a team you should have blown out in the Super Bowl, odds are you missed it.

Food kits should come with antibiotics
The panic of the salmonella infected peanut butter may be over at this point for most, but not for the federal government. Food kits from FEMA were discovered this week to contain peanut butter that could be contaminated, which means people in need could end up sickening themselves. But don’t worry, aid still has not made it to New Orleans, so there is plenty of time for the kits to be recalled.

Where you lat?
This week, Google released a new friend-tracking program called Google Latitude. The program allows smartphone and PC users to let their friends know where they are and track where their friends are. Because, you know, it’s so much easier than to actually talk to someone now and then. No word yet as to when people will be able to track both the latitude and longitude of their friends, family members and exes.

Where is Peter Sellers buried? I feel like dancing
It’s every comic’s nightmare–waking up one day and realizing no one thinks you’re funny anymore. To the list of Chevy Chase, Whoopi Goldberg and Billy Crystal, add the name Steve Martin. Sure, technically he was on there a long time ago, but unlike the others, Martin is still making movies. Today, he unleashes his latest abomination, The Pink Panther 2, which is opening to terrible reviews, even for a February release. Next up, Martin plans to team up with fellow ham Eddie Murphy to remake Silver Streak.

Keep breathing easy

A while back, we let you know that it’s OK to eat your Peanut Butter Patties, as they’re safe despite this most recent outbreak of salmonella.

We’d just like to let you know that you can continue breathing easy. Not only are Girl Scout cookies safe, but so are all products of Hershey’s. As a man that likes his Reese’s products, that makes me happy.

And I’m a man that enjoys his Reese’s products.

Finally, we can breathe easy

Life is short. It’s also scary. We don’t know what our next will end up being. Heck, we don’t even know if we’ll still have a job tomorrow. Life is not just short, it’s expensive. Unfortunately, another salmonella outbreak in peanut butter-based products has made one of the most delicious yet cost-conscious foods to ever grace our palettes that much more expensive. But don’t worry …

Girl Scout cookies are still safe. This apparently news-worthy article has been brought to you by the delicious Samoas and Peanut Butter Patties.