Friends don’t let friends buy Saturn

Their junked fleet will probably biodegrade slower than other cars because of their plastic panel sides.

GM announced on Wednesday that it will shut down their Saturn line. The decision was made after Saturn’s potential buyer, Penske Automotive Group, came to their senses after this alleged conversation with their friends:

Penske: So, I’m seriously thinking about buying a new car.

Friend: Yeah? What kind?

Penske: A Saturn.

Friend: A … Saturn? Really? Why?

Penske: Well, they’ve been having trouble lately and it’s important to buy American … auto industry failing … Detroit … Lions embarassment to football and whatever the Redskins play …

Friend: You know there are other American car brands out there? You know that, right? That aren’t Saturn?

Penske: Yeah … it was just, you know, an idea