Tag: pesticide

You don’t know where that bed bug’s been, but his sister does

If you thought bed bugs are gross, get ready to declare a jihad on them: one of their keys to spreading so quickly is that they’re inbreeders.

Researchers discovered that not only do bed bugs inbreed, but they’re also pretty much immune to all the nasty genetic side effects. This enables a single pregnant female to establish a colony, while her offspring go sex nuts in the floorboards with each other.

And the scariest part — aside from the resemblance to the B-story from The Godfather Part III — is that their inbreeding makes them more resistant to pesticides. So: no hemophilia and they’re stronger.

The next step in this research is to apply it to humans. Namely, how are there so many country music fans when nobody farms or herds cattle anymore?

New moms won’t freak out about this at all

You might think that pregnant moms have enough on their plates to worry about, and that adding unavoidable fears won’t help them. You are wrong.

Moms now need to worry about about exposure to pesticides, which can lower their baby’s IQ and are found on every food they need to eat for a healthy pregnancy. In solidarity with our media brothers and sisters,  The Guys have helpfully assembled a list of other substances that can lower your baby’s IQ:

  • Mike’s Hard Lemonade
  • The Situation
  • Sound waves of Sarah Palin’s voice
  • Kentucky
  • Paradigm shifts
  • Korn

So, there you go. Avoid those things and you might not have a stupid(er) baby.*

*SeriouslyGuys reserves the right to declare any human being that has not mastered language, potty training, locomotion, sleeping on its back and feeding itself stupid. If you disagree, feel free to update your Facebook page in protest.

Apple not in the pesticide business … yet

This time it isn’t an employee falling off a roof or out of a window. This time, it’s pesticide.

Foxconn, the world’s largest manufacturer of electronics, is responsible for assembling the Xbox 360, the PS3, the Wii, the iPhone and more. Another thing it’s famous for: the death of its employees by suicide, along with “alleged” pressuring by industry giants regarding their products.

After 250 workers at the company’s Chennai, India plant were hospitalized, Foxconn had no choice but to shut the facility down. Workers experienced what has been described as “sensations of giddiness and nausea”. According to Foxconn, this “may have been caused by the routine spraying of pesticide at the production facility.” Whoops.

Out of the 250 hospitalized workers, 28 are still in the hospital. The plant is responsible for mobile phone parts.

For Bryan McBournie, it might be more prudent to exclaim, “Where Is Your Clean Air Now?”