Here in the U.S. of A, at times, we citizens feel pressure to eat nothing but junk food. Deep-fried, massive caloric, heavy in transfats, it doesn’t matter: all of those descriptions taste delicious. Oh sure, we’ll blow out our colon on the terlet, but think of the savings we get in our budget!
Well, maybe we need to think otherwise. I mean, we’re all dying sooner and sooner. There’s a heavy risk of heart disease and other related conditions from both sides of my family. But it’s not easy! I mean, everyone’s tried the diets, whether fad or basic, but they just don’t work. So it’s time to look across the pond and see what the English might have to offer. Peter Andrews, a building worker, has found an exemplary way to cut out the pounds. As follows:
- Get blindly drunk.
- Attempt to get late night McDonald’s after closing. Be refused service.
- Go back home and get behind the wheel of your car.
- Ask for service one more time. Be refused once again.
- Drive the back end of your car into the entrance of the building repeatedly.
- Get arrested for your crime. At your sentencing, be banned from all McDonald’s in the country.
See? Simple and effective!