Picture of stuffed anteater disqualified from photo award

There are a lot of unspoken rules in wildlife photography, like don’t swear at the animals, don’t pay the animals for their time, and no, your cats don’t count as wildlife. Another such rule is that they have to be real and alive. And one photographer lost an award for violating that one.

Britain’s Natural History Museum said it has disqualified a photo from its Wildlife Photographer of the Year award because the animal in question is dead and stuffed. The photo, taken in Brazil’s Emas National Park, depicts a large ant hill at night with an anteater coming up to feast. Turns out the anteater is a stuffed specimen usually on display at one of the park’s entrances.

Technically, it was wildlife at one point, though.

Dan Snyder is a sarcastic enigma wrapped in a $1000 suit

HTTR! is a really weird way to abbreviate “Eat a dick, Matt!” Maybe it’s Latin?

In 2019, Dan Snyder will have owned the Washington Redskins–and all the terrible decisions that organization has made–for 20 years. 20 years, people. People voted in the 2016 election who have never seen reasonably competent team ownership of the three-time NFL champions.

Of all the allegations about how Dan Snyder has dragged his favorite team to equal footing with the Cleveland Browns, none have accused him of understanding sarcasm. Satire, he certainly does not get after suing the Washington City Paper.

So, one enterprising fan tried to appeal to his Snydership with honey before pleading with him to make better decisions this year. Lifelong Redskins fan Matt Fraedrich thanked Mr. Snyder for being a true fan of the team before asking him to “please be very deliberate about the decisions that are made behind closed doors,” and, among other requests, “please give Kirk Cousins a long-term deal that makes him happy to be Redskin, even if that means making him the highest-paid player in NFL history.”

In return, Mr. Fraedrich got an autographed full-body photo of Dan Snyder.

So, does Dan Snyder not get sarcasm, thinking this “fan” really wanted his autograph? Or is he its greatest practitioner? Like any truly great act of sarcasm, intentional or not, we don’t even know anymore.

‘Very fun fit classy’ congressman resigns

We’re only a month into our latest class of the U.S. Congress, and we’ve got ourselves a sex scandal!

Rep. Chris Lee, R-N.Y., resigned after a camera phone photo of his naked torso was leaked onto gossipy-bitch Web site Gawker yesterday. The married father of one had emailed it to a woman on Craigslist, looking for a date.

While we think it’s ridiculous that any elected official needs to resign for doing something stupid, yet not illegal, we do believe that it’s time to set an age limit on camera phones. Wouldn’t you agree, Mrs. Favre?

The end of an era

Rochus Misch, Hitler’s last surviving bodyguard, has had enough of your letters. He just cannot–cannot–handle any more fan mail.

Yeah, the one guy who was in the best position to, oh, end World War II at any point and end years of suffering and atrocities, who instead chose to protect history’s greatest embodiment of evil and his top-ranking henchmen, has a pile of unanswered letters and packages from well-wishers around the world.

He would quit answering hate mail, too, but he apparently doesn’t get any.

We’d like to thank Mr. Misch for his years of diligent autographing and mailing photos of himself in his old SS uniform, proving that, if there was a god, he died assembling Volkswagen Beetles.

Easy come, easy go

One versus a hundred, give or takeThe mayor of Arlington, Oregon, was recalled (by a mere three votes) because of a “scandalous” photo posted on her MySpace page. Now, we posit a question to our readers. What’s crazier: That a mayor has a MySpace page, that anyone cares, or that she could grate blocks of stale cheese on those hardcore washboard abs? Bet she makes your mayor look like a creampuff. I know she does she does for all the mayors that I’ve had to encounter in the areas that I lived in (one was older than death, another had approximately 2 vowels in a 24 letter last name, and the most recent has been arrested under embezzling charges).

And no, we don’t have a link to her MySpace page.