Take it from Snee: Weiner, wiener and the ‘i before e’ rule

I was out in Colorado last week, and figured I’d make up for a lack of TifS with a travelogue detailing my drunken debaucheries pleasant trip with my wife. Unfortunately, it appears that fate and the news cycle had other plans for me.

After all, who am I to argue that a story about a U.S. Representative named Weiner (D-Jockeys) sexting pictures of his wiener is less newsworthy than some breathtaking scenery from our great nation’s minimally spoiled wildernesses?

I can’t. This story is bigger than you, me and (clearly) Anthony Weiner. It’s the white penis in the room. It’s Brett Favre and Kanye West dutch-ruddering each other while former U.S. Rep. Christopher Lee (R-Shirtless) flexes in the corner and the whole country calling them gay.

Put simply: this sad, sad story changes everything I thought I knew about taking a picture of your own penis and sending it to a relative stranger. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Weiner, wiener and the ‘i before e’ rule

SG images explained

As you may have noticed, we have a few different styles of images on this stately site of ours. Confused? Don’t be. We’re here to explain.

First off, there’s me (Bryan McBournie). I tend to go with images with a basic, white on black caption. Do they sort of look like the Oasis logo? Well, yeah. Whatever.

Then, you’ve got Chris “Chugs” Taylor, whose images are fairly direct, in that they don’t have any jokes that jump out at you, but if you hover over them, that’s when the joke pops up. Chugs makes you work for it. He’s not a cheap date.

And then there’s Rick Snee. He’s got the hover over jokes on most of his images, but he also does a sort of lolcat-esque effect with the text in his images.

This makes perfect sense, because when he’s not posting on SG, he’s making lolRicks.

Take it from Snee: And go cry home to mama

Look at that: she can't even grow that middle part of her mustache.I normally stay out of the affairs of other countries, especially when it concerns cultural taboos. I mean, I live in a state where it’s illegal to see a stripper’s vagina … unless I take her home. (The industry refers to this as a “to-go box.”) And even when I get her there, I have to churn it all Amish-style, because vibrators are contraband. So, who am I to talk, right?

But, every now and then, one of the hundred or so non-American nations out takes a stance so ludicrous that I have to take notice.

Iran–surprise, surprise–arrested several college students who were protesting their current government. All in all, it’s a normal day at the University of Couscous Online, except that, according to police, these students tore up and burned pictures of current Ayatollah Khamenei and founding Ayatollah Khomeini.

Why would I care? It’s not like I turned my Twitter avatar green or scan Fox News for any excuse to invade Middle Eastern countries. However, I, too, have a little history with “graven images.”

There’s something I learned not too long ago: pictures aren’t real. The camera doesn’t steal your soul, and Back to the Future is impossible. (Not because it’s a movie, but because the paradox that time travel creates makes fourth dimensional regression physically difficult.)

So, if someone attaches that much importance to any picture, they’re retarded. And if they attach that importance to a picture of themselves, then you could drown them with a mirror at the bottom of a pool.

It is with these people in mind that I present the following gallery: You’re an Idiot, Now Go Cry Home to Mama. Continue reading Take it from Snee: And go cry home to mama