Tag: pig

I’ve heard they can smell pigstrual blood

What’s a pig to do when it’s lost and hungry on the streets?

If you’re a horror movie fan, then it will begin to eat the populace in no time; however, in real life, the pig just goes for fast food.

Gladys, a 300-pound one-year-old female pig, was found oinking into the transmitter by Quiznos employees. The employees gave the “malnourished” swine some Quiznos fare while waiting for Animal Control to arrive. Being an ungrateful guest, the pig later threw up all that it had been given.

The pig was treated for an infection, but is now eating well and very sociable. Animal control doesn’t know where Gladys came from, but the department had received reports of a stray pig about two weeks ago. We’d be lax about the health and security of the member of the enemy too.

Panic at the Dartmouth

Dartmouth College, that other Ivy League school that people forget about, has had a startling number of students appear with swine flu symptoms. 175 students have shown symptoms of H1N1, and the number isn’t going down. Granted, the number isn’t going up either, but that earlier part really sounds dramatic, doesn’t it?

Here’s the SG guide to ending the swine flu craze:

Step 1-STOP MAKING OUT WITH PIGS.

That’s it.

The war to end all boars

This blog is still none too trusting of Germany. Sure, things may be better since the trial separation, but there is still plenty of time for its aggressive tendencies to make a comeback. That said, the War on Animals seems to be taking a dangerous turn: the enemy is helping local law enforcement.

German police were chasing a suspected car thief through a forest. They really were not sure if they could get to him in the darkness. Yet they ended up catching up to him quite easily. Why? Because the thief was stopped by wild boars.

Yes, the animals are now working with law enforcement officials, which is probably the cleverest move they have made yet. First, they are helping round up humans by humans, and secondly, they are gaining the trust of those in charge, perhaps earning some contacts or double agents.