Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be IT professionals

A country-ass “IT professional” dad, Tommy Jordan, was shocked — shocked — that his teenage daughter posted something bitchy about her family to her friends on Facebook. So, taking a page from Dr. Spock, he took her laptop to a field and recorded a YouTube video of himself reading her post, responding to it, grounding her and then emptying his .45’s clip into said laptop for her — and we quote — “childish behavior.”

He then posted that video to her Facebook wall, from which she is grounded. (He said it was a message to her friends, who we’re sure will respond in equally mature fashion.)

That’ll teach her to be a teenager.

Since then,  “Mr.” Jordan has declined any and all interviews, saying that he can’t believe people would view what he publicly posted, respond and criticize him on television.

That’s gotta hurt (their national pride)!

So, did you hear the one about the Polish Colonel who shot himself in the head? He missed.

If you don’t like Polish jokes, did we also mention he’s a lawyer? ‘Cause he is.