Take it from Snee: Slippery slope to AWESOME

They warned us. They warned us that legalizing gay marriage would lead us down a slippery slope that would eventually see man-on-dog and woman-on-baby marriage. Well, it’s now clear that what happens on Broadway affects Utah in more ways than The Book of Mormon: polygamists now want the legal right to pretend to be married and share a mortgage and kids.

Sure, they’re not really all married—just some dude to one woman and a bunch of girlfriends—but, let’s call this what it really is: pretty f%@king cool.

I know, I know; it’s practically a stereotype for a male writer to Internet high-five some weird Mormon guy collecting women like Pokemon. I acknowledge that, but I’m not saying this for the reasons you think.
Continue reading Take it from Snee: Slippery slope to AWESOME

Sects Sells: ACLU suddenly likes Jesus?

Having just kicked the Easter Bunny out of shopping malls, the American Civil Liberties Union has found a new high-profile case to remind Americans that they’re still around. However, they’ve zigged just when we thought they would zag.

The ACLU is taking on the state of Texas, claiming they may have violated state and federal laws when they raided the XFZ polygamist ranch in Eldorado and then placed all 416 children in state custody. (This is not to be confused with the Bunny Ranch in Mound House, Nevada, where polygamy is only one of many services offered.)

Look, ACLU, you need to decide: do you or don’t you like Jesus? Or do you only like Jesus when he’s marrying his underage cousins? This blog’s best guess is that you’re entertaining your perverted Little House on the Prairie fantasies.

Bonus: The judge who sent all those kid’s into protective custody?  None other than Judge Barbara Walthers.  (OK, not really that one.)

When society crumbles, blame Facebook

This is an emergency SeriouslyGuys Bulletin.  Please drop whatever you are doing (picking your belly-button lint) and pay close attention.  Your life may depend on this news.

SeriouslyGuys has just discovered from CNN that college students are revealing their relationship statuses on Facebook, an open online forum that anyone can access.  Users can list themselves as “single,” “in a relationship with,” “engaged to,” “married to” or even “it’s complicated with.” 

The last option, “it’s complicated,” is the most alarming because it encourages uncommitted relationships with multiple people.  We all know that polygamy, homosexuality and beastiality are destroying society, and it’s not fair that college students are allowed to do that.

It’s a mystery how this Facebook feature, which has been part of the social network since it launched, has escaped CNN’s notice for so long.  What’s next?  Creating cults about pasta that users can join?  Fortunately, it’s never too late to talk to your kids about the perils of moral ambivilance on the Internet.