Take it from Snee: Retrospect this

While I’m certainly glad to see more people writing thanks to the advent of blogging, twittering and other terms that were previously symptoms of pleurisy; whereas I am also elated to say goodbye to the biggest waste of a decade since the 1460s (was there any good music that decade?); and because I look forward to the Twenty-Ten future, I am officially sick of all retrospectives about this and any other decade from here on out.

To make sure one is never written again, I’ve done you all a favor and written and all-encompassing one that should work for the next hundred years.* Don’t think I’ve left out names to be vaguely correct: in 10 years’ time, you’ll have forgotten most of the “important” people of this past decade, too.

*If this template still applies after 100 years, you’re on your own because I should be dead. Hopefully of something awesome like breastclimbing or mesotheligladiator fights.

Well, it’s been another 10 years, and what a 10 years it’s been! Let’s recap the good, bad and weird from this decade. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Retrospect this

‘Blessed are the cheesetakers?’

Reading the Bible, one might be left with the impression that God frowns on stealing. Sure, it’s only mentioned explicitly in two out of 10 Commandments, but so’s adultery, and murder is in there only once.

It is this ambiguous language that may have lead Church of England priest, Rev. Tim Jones, to preach that it is “sometimes acceptable for desperate people to shoplift from large chain stores.”

While Robin Hood may have been set in Catholic England, it appears that Friar Tuck lives on, though not everyone is a fan. His spoken-word antics have called down the thunder of …

The British Retail Consortium!!!

Due to site language rules, we can’t quote their response, but let us assure you it was very mild-mannered and reasonably remonstrative, indeed.

‘Would you like to pet my elephant?’

Everyone, not just Republicans, hates poor people. They’re smelly because they seldom shower. They jangle cups without so much as actually asking you if you want some change, and the seldom come up with signs that do not end in “God Bless You.”

Just imagine how it could be if homeless people were elephants. In Thailand, that’s how they roll.

Elephant begging in Thailand is a huge problem. Apparently these things are roaming around the streets of cities, finding tourists and stopping. They then make their human companion species traitors ask for money for the honor of feeding the elephant. Not only are these poor tourists forced to feed the enemy, they have to pay tribute!

Well, no more will that be the case in the country. The government has decided to crack down on it. Southeast Asia: once again, leading the way in the War on Animals.