Tag: pork

And yet they can’t change ‘The Other White Meat?’

If you didn’t know, the pork industry isn’t doing so hot right now. Granted, it’s not in horrible shape, but even with the scares that plagued the beef/horse/guinea pig/unknown beef paste industry, it’s still not doing fantastically. And so, in order to raise pork sales, the National Pork Board and the Beef Checkoff Program did what any other multi-billion dollar industry does when faced with slumping sales.

They renamed the same exact products to sell at the same price. Some examples include:

  • Pork chops are now ribeye chops. Logic: How much for a rib? (Link NSFW)
  • Pork butt is now Boston roast. Logic: Boston is full of a-holes.
  • A beef under blade boneless steak will now become a Denver steak. Logic: At least it’s not Rocky Mountain Oysters.

Tastes like chicken … and science

Since 2006, Dutch scientists have been growing pork from pig stem cells, and they are only now letting us in on this awesomeness. Apparently, you can make decent tasting food from stem cells, the only thing is that the texture is off. They say this could one day help win the war against hunger around the world.

But let’s take a step back for a moment. Science wants to use human stem cells under the guise of trying to cure diseases like Michael J. Fox Disease. But really, if pig stem cells can grow pork, who’s to say that human stem cells won’t be used to make human meat to feed the ever-growing masses?

Panic at the Dartmouth

Dartmouth College, that other Ivy League school that people forget about, has had a startling number of students appear with swine flu symptoms. 175 students have shown symptoms of H1N1, and the number isn’t going down. Granted, the number isn’t going up either, but that earlier part really sounds dramatic, doesn’t it?

Here’s the SG guide to ending the swine flu craze:

Step 1-STOP MAKING OUT WITH PIGS.

That’s it.