When a man has lost everything he has left …

Darren Suchon, a 42 year-old unemployed man from Lehigh Township, Pennsylvania, likes his video games. He likes them so much that when somebody tries to take them away, it results in a car chase, road rage and the cops. Yes, his anger triggers a video game level.

Suchon’s girlfriend, Colleen Frable, became so fed up with his lifestyle that she grabbed his Playstation, put it in the back of her car and took off. He didn’t just get mad. He got really mad, jumping in Frable’s other car (who here actually predicted that it was a Porsche?) and giving chase until he caught up, rear-ended her and ran her off the road. Which is true love.

His explanation to police, who arrived after Frable dialed 911? That she’d taken his PlayStation away once before, and “he didn’t want her to do it again.” Understandable, if he has a penchant for bandicoots.

Suchon now faces a long list of charges including “simple assault, reckless endangerment, harassment, disorderly conduct, reckless driving and driving with a suspended or revoked license.” Those might hinder him in fixing that whole unemployed bit.

He spits in the face of capitalism

The trade-up: everyone’s vaguely familiar with the concept. Here’s a quick explanation-I give you a hot dog. You give the hot dog to a homeless man for his pen. You give that pen to an accountant for a shoelace. You give that shoelace to a nuclear physicist for his clipboard. Eventually, after numerous trades, you end up as the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or something along those lines. It’s a formula that’s been used many times in different mediums-kids’ stories, cartoons, I’ve even seen it used as a story on a cooking show. But rarely is it ever heard of in real life.

Until now.

Stephen Ortiz, a teenager in California, was given a phone by a friend, free of charge. He took the gift to the cesspool of the internet Craigslist. The phone led to an iPod Touch, the media player created by the company that is the bane of Bryan McBournie led to a dirt bike, and the transportation of teenagers in 80’s movies led to another a Macbook Pro. Eventually, Ortiz landed himself a Porsche.

As someone who works in a auto related industry, 17 year old Stephen’s lifelong dream is a nightmare for his parents.