Tag: Portsmouth

There’s a ‘You might be a redneck’ joke here somewhere

I’m not very tall.

Seriously. When I back out of places, I have do a near total turn of my body while sitting in order to make sure that I don’t hit anyone or anything. This is also compounded (or perhaps helped) by the fact that I drive a car that isn’t exactly the largest on the road. Nonetheless, I’ve never backed into anything.

A friend of mine, while embarrassed at one point in her life, once peeled out of a parking lot, but not before accidentally backing into a light pole, doing just a little bit of damage to the end of her car. Lawsuits? What are those?

Richard Griswold of Maine drove into a light pole in a Walmart parking lot after subsequently dropping a passenger off, feels he’s not to blame and has now sued said Walmart because of that. So, who’s got a line on how quickly this suit ends?

Virginia is for pedophilic gamers

Who knew that chatting up 13-year olds via Xbox Live then asking them for naked photos would be so frowned upon? What’s that you say? Anyone with a shred of common sense? What’s also that you say? We did very early on in our SG career? That’s right, we did.

One man who learned that lesson the hard way was 24 year old Portsmouth, Virginia resident Ryan Edwin Donker. Donker, whose very last name might even be considered inappropriate for those underage, admitted to police that he had asked for naked photos of an Xbox Live user from Fayetteville, Arkansas. He was arrested, extradited to Arkansas, charged with a felony and held on $20,000 bond.

The Fayetteville Police Department recorded multiple Xbox Live conversations between Donker and the boy following the first incident.

According to reports from the Northwest Arkansas Times, Donker told police that requests for naked pictures from the boy were a “joke.” Right. Whatever you say, Donker.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: Virginia, sometimes you make me want to live in another state.