Beavers knock out power in Canada

Every now and then we hear about a small animal, usually a squirrel, getting into someplace it shouldn’t be and knocking out the power to an area. The animal terrorists have stepped up their efforts, and now Canada is in a state of panic.

Last weekend, citizens of Prince Albert, Saskatchewan lost power when a group of beavers chewed through a wooden power pole. Luckily, power was restored after an hour, because Canadian power companies are prepared for Canadian power interruptions. This is the first beaver-led coordinated attack on infrastructure that this blog is aware of.

In truth, we just wanted to see if we could write a post about a beaver in Prince Albert without snickering. We failed horribly.

Once enemies, eagle, salmon team up to attack Seattle power

Animals are taking advantage of our increased dependence on electricity, and what’s worse, they’re joining forces to do so.

According to the local power company, some 200 Seattleans Seattleians Seattlites Sea People lost power last week when a strategically placed salmon struck a power line. Witnesses report an eagle carried the salmon out of a nearby river and dropped it where it would do the most damage. Utility workers recovered the smoked salmon.

Nice try, animals. But if you really want to disrupt Seattle society, try attacking the wifi in coffee shops.

Squirrels: The biggest threat to the grid

The U.S. electric grid has many threats, including cyber terrorists and that tree around the corner that you know is going to fall over the next time we get a big storm. But there’s an even bigger threat out there: squirrels.

It should come as no surprise to warriors out there that these tree-dwelling rodents are out to get us. According to an analysis, more than half of power outages are caused by these beasts, probably costing the economy billions every year. And yet, the so-called government refuses to let us round all the squirrels up and send them to meet their squirrel maker.

Monkey see, monkey impulse buy

If Mad Men has taught us anything, it’s that advertising takes a lot of booze, cigarettes and whoring-around. So, it doesn’t surprise us that–when particularly cutting edge or risky–it takes some serious animal research, too.

Just for the record, we think there’s always room for red Jell-O with lady Capuchin genitals.

Take it from Snee: Lightning (and Tornadoes) Round

Sorry about missing “Take it from Snee” last week. If you were busy watching those crazy British kids getting married or the end of the “Do you remember where you were on 9/11?”-era, then you may not have noticed that Alabama was trying to kill me. (Did you see what I did there, McBournie?)

Believe it or not, this is actually my second draft of this post. I tried to live blog the tornado warnings that, in Alabama, come with World War II-edition sirens. These interrupted me so often that by the time I worked a game out of it, the power shut off and was not restored to my neighborhood until last night.

For six nights–which is how you count blackouts because daylight isn’t blacked out–I lived a preview of our future dystopian nightmare. I survived and bring you the following findings. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Lightning (and Tornadoes) Round

The dead need to keep the lights on like everyone else

It’s been a while since we heard from the undead. Perhaps they don’t like the heat, or perhaps all this talk of vampires and werewolves has overshadowed the threat they pose.

Let’s go to Vienna, Austria, where the scourge has returned. A woman Christine died, just ask the power company, but she refused to stay that way. This zombie was so brazen, she even faxed and emailed the utility claiming that she was not the one who died.

Sadly, the company turned the power back on. I guess they think zombie money is as good as anyone else’s.

Going over like an LED balloon

It’s finally happening: LED light bulbs!

For people who date (yet somehow read this Web site), LED stands for light-emitting diode and is the same technology used for your computer and monitor’s status lights. (Right there, on the front.) Notice how they never burn out until the rest of the computer goes down?

In addition to their long life (20 years!), they use 80-percent less energy and–unlike those twisty fluorescents–are capable of dimming and being thrown away without a guilt trip.

The only problem is that we’re stuck with previously mentioned fluorescent bulbs until they finally burn out in a couple of years.