Scientists teach robot to hunt, edge us toward Judgment Day

We don’t need to tell you that the world is full of evil, and by “evil,” we mean scientists. And those evildoers are actively working to enslave humanity by training killer robots. That’s not paranoia, they’re actually doing it.

Researchers taught a robot to hunt prey. It should come as no surprise that these scientists hail from the war-hungry nation of Switzerland. They programmed the robot to track its “prey,” a human-controlled robot. So not only will the machines be able to hunt us down, they will know to take out the robots we use to combat them.

This is unquestionably the most flagrant effort to doom humanity yet.

The McBournie Minute: Drinking like a fish

I think I picked the wrong line of work. You see, when I was a kid, all I wanted to do was write. It was actually one of the only ways I felt I could really express myself. And let me tell you, I had a rough childhood. Did I mention I grew up in Vermont? You don’t want to know what I’ve seen, man.

I eventually grew up to be a writer, and also an editor. That means I get to take peoples’ dreams, crush them, and then tell them what they need to do better if they want to keep living the dream. Sure, it’s fun, but it’s not scientist-fun. I’ve always felt that if you get in with the right lab, you don’t have to research boring stuff like cures for cancer, you can use public funding to goof off. You can build robots or experiment on animals or something.

You can even get animals drunk and chase them around with a robot. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Drinking like a fish

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Predators’

In 1987, in the midst of his heyday, Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in Predator, an action sci-fi mixed genre film that won over both critics and movie-goers. But just like everything successful in Hollywood, the studio system attempted to build it into a franchise. The first sequel, Predator 2, was made in 1990 and both Alien vs. Predator and AVPR: Alien vs. Predator – Requiem arrived in the last six years. A mixed bag commercially, the films received a common line from the critics: a big thumbs down. While containing the same alien species, there was no linear connection between the sequels and the original film (the final two films merely an excuse to get two of cinema’s classic creatures to do battle). With Nimrod Antal’s Predators, the fifth film in the line, that pattern comes to an abrupt and blissful end. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Predators’

The end of French men?

Ever notice how much we write about studies? Well, so long as they reveal things like “French women ‘are the sexual predators now,'” we’re gonna bring them to your attention.

Not only have French women become more sexually aggressive, but the men are calling the whole thing off: one-in-five young French men have “no interest in sex.” Things will reach critical mass very soon as 90% of those women remain sexually active after turning 50.

Unless the men start appreciating French women again, this will not end well for them.