Veritable institutions like the Vatican and the White House are on their toes today because Benetton, an Italian clothing retailer, photoshopped pictures of their leaders kissing their “enemies.”
The Vatican threatened legal action, while Head American Catholic Blogger Bill Donohue blogged some, over a picture of Pope Benedict XVI kissing Imam Ahmed Mohamed el Tayeb. Meanwhile, the White House endured some stupid questions in the press room, this time over the picture of President Obama kissing Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.
All in all, Benetton’s “Unhate” campaign has been a success. They’ve only had to pull the picture of the pope, and everyone else has helped make sure we all know the-damn-well who they are. And all it cost was about $200 for a Photoshop license.
After nearly two years of gay and lesbian advocates asking the Obama administration to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” it appears that Congress will introduce a bill, possibly even this week.
President Barack Obama is reportedly on-board with the plan, albeit “grudgingly” because he didn’t plan to introduce anything until at earliest November, by which time he could find a way to support gays in the military without it sounding “so gay.” The President quickly added, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
President Obama’s hesitation is understandable since his first 18 months in office have been plagued with questions about his sexuality. There was Mustardgate when Obama ordered Dijon mustard for his burger. Or the knowing glances he got in response to asking Secretary of State Clinton if a tie brought out his eyes enough.
Even before his election, he was declared an ivory tower elitist, who pals around with terrorists … terrorists, who might be gay and hate straight people.
Should the amendment make it into defense authorization bill, the repeal would not take effect until after a study by the Joint Chiefs of Staff to ensure that the entire military won’t look gay … you know, except for the gays … who are valuable assets members contributors to national defense.
President Barack Obama is trying to push you out the door. Billed as the “America’s Great Outdoors” program, the initiative will “conserve cherished land and encourage Americans to enjoy the outdoors.”
Mr. President, with all due respect, but have you been outside? There’s mosquitoes out there. And bears. And no Playstation.
This all sounds like a ruse to get us outside while the President watches his stories instead of more Dora reruns.
Well, we hope we get kidnapped, just to teach you a lesson. Was your little Internet “me-time” worth it?
You ever known somebody from New York, particularly from the city? If so, then you’ve probably heard all the talk that comes from New Yorkers: being raised on the mean streets, being able to make it anywhere and–after 9/11–tougher than any terrorist.
After intense bipartisan pressure from U.S. officials, NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg and the relatives of 9/11 victims, U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder and President Barack Obama are now considering alternative sites for the trials of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and four of his alleged co-conspirators.
Those “tough guys” from “the streets” have suggested safer places, including U.S. military bases and West Point, for five men that have been tortured and held in tiny cells for almost a decade.
So, the next time you have to listen to an obnoxious New Yorker, or even a plain-old Yankees fan, brag about what a badass they are and how New York eats people up and spits them out, let them vent. It’s all they have left.
The big shocking news of the day is that the Norwegian Nobel Committee has awarded President Barack Obama the Nobel Peace Prize. And, of course, the critics of the president want to know what he’d done in the last ten months to deserve such recognition.
The Committee praised Obama for:
- Starting nuclear disarmament talks.
- Consulting with the U.N. and international communities before bombing invading new countries.
- Inspiring an emotion (hope) without instituting a nonfluctuating color chart.
So, in other words, not only were the current batch of peacemakers kind of inactive, but the last president made this one look so damn good.
We’d like to congratulate the Nobel Committee for reaching such a decision, but what about prizes for the people that elected him? Hope’s pretty shallow in a square office, if you know what we mean. (Obama does.)
According to the headlines,* President Barack Obama gave a very controversial speech today.
Rather than encouraging non-voters to support health care or elect more socialists this November, he had the audacity to encourage them to work hard in school this year and make good grades.
Great, just what white America needs: more minority presidents in the future.
*Note: At the time of publication, the headline was “President Obama delivers controversial speech.”
Continuing our report on last week’s premier of President Obama’s Path to Peace Dungeons and Dragons campaign, it appears that the North Korea realm is stalled while U.S. players roll to see if they can search their boats.*
*Helpful Hint: Dwarves wearing Lady’s Sunglasses (+2 stealth) could potentially fit in with the crew.
In the meantime, Dungeon Master Obama has launched an expansion campaign for Iran. It starts the same, only this time, the Path to Peace on the game map is marked by its name in Elftongue: “the clear, open Path to International Acceptance.”
This would require trait sets of honesty and candor, and it couldn’t hurt to roll for bonus charisma and initiative–both of which the wizard Khomeini and his gnome underling, Ahmadinejad, severely lack after their mana-draining Thrown Election.
President Barack Obama hosted the latest of several questionable guests at the White House Tuesday: Pierce Brosnan. Other guests also include Brad Pitt and George Clooney.
It would be irresponsible to accuse Obama of consorting with known very cool thieves and even moreso to implicate him in the greatest heist in American history.
But, it’s not a threat to national security if we ask it: Is President Obama planning to steal priceless presidential artifacts with movie stars?