Trump: Man of 140 characters (or less)

Follow @realDonaldTrump for all the news that nobody objective with a conscience will print without questioning it.

Part of The Guys’ preparation for President-elect Trump’s inauguration this week is to cancel our newspaper subscriptions. Why pay for a service that the next president won’t talk to when we can read his deepest, most planned out thoughts for free on Twitter? It’s the very least that we, his soon-to-be constituents can do since he doesn’t even like tweeting, you guys.

According to his own words (if they can be trusted) during a Fox News interview with Ainsley Earhardt on Wednesday, Trump has to call out Alec Baldwin, SNL, his replacement on The Apprentice, our free press and our Intelligence Community on Twitter, starting at sometimes the crack of dawn through late at night, because he has no choice! This is a service he provides for you, citizen — so start appreciating it with likes, retweets and #followbacks!

Oh, and also because nobody will quote him without distorting it with cheap media tricks like adding context or republishing his words verbatim:

‘Look, I don’t like tweeting. I have other things I could be doing,’ Trump told Earhardt. ‘But I get very dishonest media, very dishonest press, and it’s my only way that I can get out and correct.’

… he said to Fox News. Looks like even a corrupt clock with tiny hands can be right at least once a day.

We’re angry at Barack Obama

So, Mr. President-elect Barack FancyPants Obama: you announced there would be 20 positions in your cabinet. You’ve disappointed women because you only appointed five of those seats to women, the same number as Bush and Clinton had in their cabinets.

But, more egregiously, you appointed no (0) SeriouslyGuys to your cabinet, which is also the same number as Bush and Clinton had in their cabinets.

It’s not like we aren’t qualified or didn’t apply.

All we hoped (remember that word?) for was to take this country a step forward. Instead, you’ve taken shocking steps backwards. We guess our constituency does not matter to you.

Take it from Snee: Yes I can (serve on your cabinet)

So, the election is over, which means President-elect Barack Obama has until Jan. 20 to appoint his cabinet. If he fails to do so, then history will remember him as “that guy who didn’t have a Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.”

I just want you to know, Mr. President, that I won’t let that happen. If you get into a pinch, I am qualified to fill any of the following positions.

(Oh, but don’t call my current employer, OK? My boss doesn’t know I’m considering cabinet positions.) Continue reading Take it from Snee: Yes I can (serve on your cabinet)