There are many ways to define yourself. You could do it by the decade into which you were born. Or which party you usually vote for. Or whether you prefer Coke or Pepsi. Or, as this past election proved, how you feel about abortion or women in general.
Before 1973, you might have been anti- or pro-abortion or, conversely, anti- or pro-forcing all pregnant women to deliver to term. Since Roe v. Wade, however, you’re generally either pro-life or pro-choice.
Rick S@ntorum,* whose three-step policy plan consists of:
Step One: Banning homosexuality and abortion with federal laws.
Step Two: […]
Step Three: Profit!
launched an attack on Herman Cain’s conservatism today after Pizza Godfather Cain told CNN that — while he personally disagrees with abortion and would carry any baby inside of him to term — he would not allow that opinion to dictate policy if he were elected president.
“The government shouldn’t be trying to tell people everything to do, especially when it comes to social decisions that they need to make,” said Cain.
“It’s basically the position that just about every pro-choice politician has in America. I don’t know too many pro-choice politicians who are for abortion, who want more abortions … but they say the decision is a choice the government shouldn’t be involved in.”
We asked an even more conservative person about S@ntorum’s comments, and he felt that Rick, too, is misleading voters about his conservative credentials. He pointed out that S@ntorum has yet to speak out against shellfish, campaigning on Sundays and tolerating the sight of menstruating women.
*SeriouslyGuys.com has a “zero profanity” posting policy in an effort to keep our inanity safe for work.
The abortion debate is no simple matter. Both sides present a nuanced morality in which the lives of women, and the babies that poop inside of them, are fraught with trauma and heartbreak … at least until yesterday.
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer signed a bill Tuesday that makes it a felony for doctors to perform an abortion for a mother that does not want her child based on race or gender. It’s the first law of its kind according to state legislators, to whom we say finally!
It’s a proven statistic that parents who just loves themselves some abortion and only want one boy and one girl will abort the rest until they achieve it. That’s where the “2.5 kids” average comes from: the half is actually the assembled parts of all the fetuses that didn’t make the cut.
And, of course, it’s high time we put an end to racist mothers who clearly had sex with someone of another race.
Remember: if you’re not for this bill, then you are a racist, sexist hate criminal.