Take it from Snee: Pro- … nothing?

"Do I? And is that the same thing as making a choice?"
“Do I? And is that the same thing as ‘making a choice?'”

There are many ways to define yourself. You could do it by the decade into which you were born. Or which party you usually vote for. Or whether you prefer Coke or Pepsi. Or, as this past election proved, how you feel about abortion or women in general.

Before 1973, you might have been anti- or pro-abortion or, conversely, anti- or pro-forcing all pregnant women to deliver to term. Since Roe v. Wade, however, you’re generally either pro-life or pro-choice.

But, now that Planned Parenthood has experienced some of their toughest years for defending their funding, they’re getting rid of the pro-choice label to fight for … well, abortion … but, well, sometimes … Oh, hell. Let them just explain it with their video like we’re in health class all over again: Continue reading Take it from Snee: Pro- … nothing?

People in glass bathhouses

Rick S@ntorum,* whose three-step policy plan consists of:

Step One: Banning homosexuality and abortion with federal laws.

Step Two: […]

Step Three: Profit!

launched an attack on Herman Cain’s conservatism today after Pizza Godfather Cain told CNN that — while he personally disagrees with abortion and would carry any baby inside of him to term — he would not allow that opinion to dictate policy if he were elected president.

“The government shouldn’t be trying to tell people everything to do, especially when it comes to social decisions that they need to make,” said Cain.

S@ntorum pounced onto that, telling the Associated Press that Cain is misleading voters about his conservative credentials:

“It’s basically the position that just about every pro-choice politician has in America. I don’t know too many pro-choice politicians who are for abortion, who want more abortions … but they say the decision is a choice the government shouldn’t be involved in.”

We asked an even more conservative person about S@ntorum’s comments, and he felt that Rick, too, is misleading voters about his conservative credentials. He pointed out that S@ntorum has yet to speak out against shellfish, campaigning on Sundays and tolerating the sight of menstruating women.

*SeriouslyGuys.com has a “zero profanity” posting policy in an effort to keep our inanity safe for work.

This is what pro-lifers actually believe

The abortion debate is no simple matter. Both sides present a nuanced morality in which the lives of women, and the babies that poop inside of them, are fraught with trauma and heartbreak … at least until yesterday.

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer signed a bill Tuesday that makes it a felony for doctors to perform an abortion for a mother that does not want her child based on race or gender. It’s the first law of its kind according to state legislators, to whom we say finally!

It’s a proven statistic that parents who just loves themselves some abortion and only want one boy and one girl will abort the rest until they achieve it. That’s where the “2.5 kids” average comes from: the half is actually the assembled parts of all the fetuses that didn’t make the cut.

And, of course, it’s high time we put an end to racist mothers who clearly had sex with someone of another race.

Remember: if you’re not for this bill, then you are a racist, sexist hate criminal.

Take it from Snee: Just a few things

Sometimes, there are things I want to get off my chest that wouldn’t warrant a full weekly column for each. In the past, I’ve done these as Lightning Rounds, and that’s what I’m still calling this. But, it’s not following the same format.

Basically, the following are too big for twitter, too small for “Take it from Snee” and too opinionated for regular SeriouslyGuys posts. It doesn’t help that I saw Funny People this weekend and, like the rest of America, now believe that I could do that. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Just a few things

Happy Abortion Day!

Protesters are canvasing the streets of the nation’s capitol today, sustaining themselves on the leftovers in trashcans from Tuesday’s inauguration/big-ass balls. They’re marking the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the only Supreme Court case most Americans can name, which made abortion legal in the United States.

Oh, but they’re not burning babies like their hippie forebears. No, they want abortion made illegal again.

This Web site supports free speech and all consequences that result from it, but don’t these people know what they’re asking for?

Parents have maintained order in the great nation of ours with a threat: “I brought you into this world, and I can take you back out of it.” As we’ve mentioned before, this threat does not work if it is an empty one. It will only work if some parents occasionally take their children out of the world, and if others refuse to bring their children into the world. (You know, to punish them for presumably making a #2 inside of you.)

So, how can you bring your well-behaved teenage children to sleep-ins (no, really) to protest the actions of others that enabled you to raise them? Hypocrites.