Tag: pronunciation

Take it from Snee: Your 2011 resolutions

Anyone who read Calvin and Hobbes as much as I did already knows where this is going.

Resolutions are stupid because, even if you accomplish them, the world has not changed for the better. Unless your resolution was to fix the Middle East or invent virtual porn for sex offenders—that could help.

Unlike Calvin, it’s not that I necessarily believe that the rest of the world needs to shape up to accommodate me. Some of these are also improvements that I must make along with the rest of our beloved unwashed readers. See? I wouldn’t ask you to do anything I wouldn’t. Just like the carnie with three fingers said, “Shut up and get on the ride, you pussy.”

With that said, read on to find out what I’ve resolved for you, you pussy. (It’s not derogatory if I quote someone I just made up.) Continue reading Take it from Snee: Your 2011 resolutions

Take it from Snee: This is Twenty-Ten

Proving that the horse I’ve been whipping isn’t dead, Twenty-Ten (a.k.a. the future) has arrived. Thanks to your efforts to spread the word, people around the world are referring to this year in the manner that will separate us from our primitive 20th Century predecessors.

But, that doesn’t mean we can sit back and enjoy the jetpack ride to our moon brothels. No, now that the year has arrived, some Johnny-Come-Latelys want to go back to the old ways and slip a Two-Thousand-Ten pound shock collar over our necks.

If we value our future, we cannot allow this backslide to happen. The Thousanders (I’m looking at you, Nanette Asimov) had their chance last decade, and where did it get us?! That is why I am giving you a new mission: defending Twenty-Ten. Continue reading Take it from Snee: This is Twenty-Ten

Take it from Snee: Join my 2010 campaign

I, Rick Snee, am throwing my hat into the ring and am officially campaigning for 2010.

No, I’m not running for office. The mere fact that I, me, am qualified only reflects how unqualified most other elected officials are. Besides, the pay’s terrible, the old guys are creepy and–because I insist on burying my own hookers myself–the hours are long.

I am campaigning for the fight of the decade: how to pronounce 2010. While some may opt for the trite “two-thousand-ten” pronunciation (which says little about their personal hygiene or moral fiber), I am a firm believer that it is time for this nation to grow up and call it Twenty-Ten as God meant it to be called. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Join my 2010 campaign