Lifestyles of the Rich & Vodka Drunkenski

Ahoy! It be the same situation that we’ve all heard ere: a chat show be televised. Russian billionaires be asked to be on the show. Eurasian Mooooooonspeak is uttered and five -ski’s later, three sounds are heard:

  • The first sound be a swing across the face
  • The second sound be another swing across the face
  • The third sound be the victim tumbling o’er the stage

If you be familiar with the situation, it’s probably because you’re Alexander Lebedev, former KGB agent turned Russian billionaire turned professor of the sweet science. Or, you’re Sergei Polonsky, former property developer turned punch victim. Or, you be simply a person that be leading an incredibly odd life that we be fixing to document.

Warrior of the Week: Dean Brougham

We don’t see enough fighters anymore. No, I’m not talking about MMA or Brazilian jujitsu or UFC or anything like that-I’m talking about actual fighting. The sporty kind that involves men wearing striped unitards and handlebar mustaches. Pugilism is honestly a lost art. No puts up their dukes anymore, and that’s sad, because you never know when you might need those special skills.

You know who didn’t forget the lost art of putting them up, putting them up? Dean Brougham. The man was out spear-fishing when a shark viciously attacked him. When the shark latched onto him, Brougham did some attacking of his own, punching it over and over in the mouth. He punched it so much that the shark let go of him and swam away.

That is easily the most bad-ass sentence that I’ve ever written in my life.

He lost no appendages in the battle. Brougham is currently recuperating with all signs pointing to a good recovery.

“I just started beating it, just trying to get rid of it, and then it let me go and then I was just straight towards the cliffs,” he said.

If I were him, I’d get that statement written on some business cards. Because sometimes the truth is awesome.

Courtesy of Groonk