Hold this aspirin between your knees

People, we’ve got a situation here. The Republican vice presidential nomination has a pregnant teenage daughter.

Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney’s sister, is due to pop out the latest infant sensation any day now.

Oh, and Juno was a very popular movie.

The experts are rightly questioning abstinence-only education with the rising numbers of real and fake teen pregnancies. We, as The Guys, agree and have only one question for today’s educators:

Who forgot to teach teens how to pull out?!