Tag: punching

Lifestyles of the Rich & Vodka Drunkenski

Ahoy! It be the same situation that we’ve all heard ere: a chat show be televised. Russian billionaires be asked to be on the show. Eurasian Mooooooonspeak is uttered and five -ski’s later, three sounds are heard:

  • The first sound be a swing across the face
  • The second sound be another swing across the face
  • The third sound be the victim tumbling o’er the stage

If you be familiar with the situation, it’s probably because you’re Alexander Lebedev, former KGB agent turned Russian billionaire turned professor of the sweet science. Or, you’re Sergei Polonsky, former property developer turned punch victim. Or, you be simply a person that be leading an incredibly odd life that we be fixing to document.

Warrior of the Week: Greg LeNoir

It’s not easy being lonely. I mean, life can be pretty weird if you’re single. It’s probably even worse for those that are married. One might think initially that with all the time that you and your significant other spend together, that you wouldn’t be lonely in the slightest. Au contraire, brown bear. Perhaps that’s how it is in the beginning, but once the years start to mount up, being lonely is all that one can do to not kill each other. At least, that’s what I hear.

So, it’s understandable that when the life of whatever may be closest to Greg LeNoir is threatened, he takes action. If what is closest to him is his prized toy rat terrier, then it’s kind of weird, but still understandable. If the action that must be taken requires him to kick logic to the curb, stick to his crazy guns and punch a shark in the face to save the dog, then it’s not understandable. No, it’s seven shades of bad-ass.

That’s right-Greg LeNoir of Florida, a mile mannered carpenter, jumped into the water to save his toy dog. Using his hardened and callused hands of power, he punched the shark over and over until it gave him back what was his. There have been only two people in history beforehand to have taken it to sharks in such a manner-Chuck Norris and Batman.

If LeNoir was fighting a ghost shark, then he clearly wouldn’t have been afraid of no gho-wait. Just hold on a minute. What do you mean that “the dog was real”? Wait, so he risked his life to save an animal from another animal? But it looks so not alive. I mean, that dog looks like it’s stuffed five ways to Sunday.

Aw man, I just don’t know what to think anymore.