A hundred-year-old English woman has some good news for you: keep drinking your beer.
Eileen Maher just turned 100, and she celebrated by downing a Stella Artois and some cookies — for good reason — she credits them for her longevity. That science seems good enough for us.
There are a couple bonus facts that we found in this article: if you live in the U.K., you get a telegram from Queen Elizabeth on your 100th birthday. Also, apparently telegrams are still a thing over there.
We have reported through the past several months that Canada has gone on the offensive in the War on Animals (in particular, baby seals), but as we have also noted, Canada is really the Puerto Rico of the United Kingdom. So in reality, it’s all just the Brits who are coming to help us, as we wait for the sleeping American giant to wake up fully and get to work.
Well, it seems Queen Elizabeth II is at it again. What’s Betsy doing this time? She is making sure all the swans are counted–so she knows where they are and how many she has left to kill. It’s a tradition dating back to the 12th century, when they counted swans by the hog’s head worth of blood.
The best part is that there is a guy whose job it is to count the foul fowl. His title, of course, is the Queen’s Swan Warden. Now all we need is the royal executioner.
