On Friday morning, Tony Kornheiser sarcastically alluded that the French dream was to go into prostitution and save up the money for a beauty parlor. If this humorous joke is true, then the French johns are going about it all the wrong way. Currency? Legal tender? That’s for chumps. They need to follow John Johnson Jr.’s example and instead pay for lovin’ with candy.
Johnson, a jail nurse, is being accused of assaulting seven female inmates. How did he keep them quiet? He used the same items that women have fallen for ever since the beginning of time-candy and soda.
We can only assume that the incredibly low standards of the inmates eventually rose up when he mistakenly approached a livabetic diabetic prisoner about a deal.
In other Virginia Tech related news, Michael Vick is back!
And apparently, the group that he wants to know this bit of news just doesn’t care.
PETA, the terrorists group that just won’t stop, would like a new ad. Apparently, it’s been about two months or so since they did debuted their last one. Their choice for the ad? Michael Vick.
Yeah, that Michael Vick.
It’s your classic tale of quid pro quo. Vick gives PETA their ad, PETA endorses Vick’s return to the NFL, it’s how the world works. Welllllll, someone in their marketing department just remembered who he was. Now, PETA is saying no. Actually, they’re saying more than just no. They’re also saying that Vick should be given a psychiatric evaluation.
The gross irony of the situation?
Daphna Nachminovitch, with PETA said, “We’re not interested in being part of a cynical ploy that’s nothing but public relations.”
Because with pamphlets with titles like “Your Mommy Kills Animals!”, their main concern is clearly not public awareness, but public relations.