Ardi Rizal, the two-year-old Indonesian boy who won our hearts with his two pack-a-day habit, has quit smoking.
The toddler was sent with his mother to an intensive care specialist for one month. He received psychosocial therapy and was forced to play with less mature-looking peers.
Sure, he’s quit now, but let’s see how he does once he enters kindergarten and the real life stress begins.
Americans have made great strides in quitting smoking … well, some Americans.
It turns out that a large percentage of modern smokers don’t support a daily habit nicotine habit, but smoke cigarettes “part-time.” Researchers are trying to figure out why people occasionally indulge in something that’s dangerous, tastes good, relieves stress and gives you something to do with your hands when surrounded by strangers. (In other news: people still eat Hot Pockets between trips to McDonald’s.)
But, of all the scenarios that The Wall Street Journal lays out, they left out the most obvious prompt for casual smokers to indulge: drinking.
It’s well known that booze and smokes go hand-in-hand. Alcohol shares all of the same benefits listed above with tobacco, but also blocks out shameful memories when you go too far with it.
What’s interesting, though, is that the article only focuses on cigarettes. Why not cigars or pipes? What about hookah? It’s pretty obvious that whoever did this research clearly does not smoke.
So I quit smoking. No, no — please hold your applause until the end.
I’ve always been a pretty healthy guy. I work out. I don’t eat a lot of sugar, salt or arsenic. I only drink on weekends, but I always use that time productively by getting really drunk and designated driving. I don’t always use a condom when I’m treating myself to a prostitute, but I always ask if they have any on them. (If they don’t, it means they’re clean.)
So, I guess it made sense to quit smoking. I mean, why would I otherwise put in all that other effort to stay healthy?
Ah, but then I did some reading. Despite this latest endeavor, I’m still not healthy. Continue reading Take it from Snee: This just ain’t healthy