I’ve heard they can smell pigstrual blood

What’s a pig to do when it’s lost and hungry on the streets?

If you’re a horror movie fan, then it will begin to eat the populace in no time; however, in real life, the pig just goes for fast food.

Gladys, a 300-pound one-year-old female pig, was found oinking into the transmitter by Quiznos employees. The employees gave the “malnourished” swine some Quiznos fare while waiting for Animal Control to arrive. Being an ungrateful guest, the pig later threw up all that it had been given.

The pig was treated for an infection, but is now eating well and very sociable. Animal control doesn’t know where Gladys came from, but the department had received reports of a stray pig about two weeks ago. We’d be lax about the health and security of the member of the enemy too.

The McBournie Minute: Sexual sandwich making

I am a fan of lunch, in fact, I try to eat lunch at least once a day. Sometimes I don’t bring lunch to work, instead, I decide to splurge and get a sub from Quizno’s. It can be said that I enjoy their subs there, especially the sub prices that were temporarily low and were raised again a couple weeks ago (bastards!).

Around the same time, new television commercials for Quizno’s surfaced, and some of you know, I can’t resist mocking commercials. This one takes sandwiches to a level of creepy seldom reached by two slices of bread with meat and condiments in between: it’s the new ads for the Toasty Torpedo.

Let’s get past the juvenile snickering at the name, and the fact that it’s a thin, yet long sub now apparently meant to compete with Subway’s Warm Wang Sandwich. This is not the type of a commercial for dirty minds. So let’s move on. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Sexual sandwich making