For Queen and Country

We assure you that is chocolate, not ... something else.

SeriouslyGuys tries hard to reach all of our reader demographics, so we’ve got a story just for our postmenopausal women readers under 70 years-old with diabetes (our second largest demographic after left-handed Grenada veterans).

Ladies, your nest is empty, your man is hosting playdates in his man cave and you’re living in a fort made of empty QVC boxes. If only there were some way you could get paid to eat Belgian chocolate until your heart quits. If only …

The United Kingdom needs you! The University of East Anglia in Norwich, England, will give you Belgian chocolate for one year. The catch (and there’s always one) is that they will test you five times randomly for increased risk of heart disease.

Sign up soon: they’re only testing 150 women.